Sunday, December 9, 2012

Three Things Today



I learned three things today. 1. A new word, senescence. 2. Bleach doesn't override every scent. 3. Gerard Butler's best movie is "300". (Number 3 wasn't really, actually learned today. I've known this since I saw "300", just as I've always known Russell Crowe's best movie ever and will always be "The Gladiator".)



Monday, December 3, 2012

Momma's & Mother-In-Laws & Life Lessons

I went to eat with Chris's momma and some of her church gals today at Captain D's. What fun those ladies were!!!! I'm very thankful she has such good friends and it’s no wonder sometimes she shafts the family after church for Sunday dinner to eat with her friends. Today they asked me how I liked my mother-in-law, these close confidants of hers. One asked this with a smile and I had a feeling it was just a run of the mill, "how are you doing today" kind of question. I told them I loved her to death and blessed to have her. You see Chris and I had only been dating for five months when my momma died in 1990. Although she barely knew me, Chris's mother took me right under her wing. I think her buddies may have been surprised at the frankness of love I expressed and I had a feeling, suddenly, that perhaps the relationship they had with their daughter-in-laws was not quite the same, or the relationship with their own mother-in-law. Maybe they thought I’d just give a “pat” answer, but I fooled them. Fooled them with a truth. (I received a really warm, genuine smile from the ladies after.)

No one loves you like your mother. No one. And a daughter's love is one of the most prized possessions a mother can have. I loved my mother dearly. In fact I often say there was none like her and I mean it. I was very attached to her. My momma can never, ever, ever be replaced and I would give about anything to have her back, including my big toe. However, God had other plans for her life and mine, a life that has been tough at times. Being without your mother at important milestones in your life such as graduating college, that first job, your wedding, and a real hum-dinger you never see coming, the "Big C", can be almost unbearable.  

Momma and me 1985ish
The "Big C". A time of fear where you really, really want your mom. Like when you're little and have the flu (which luckily I never had). But at the same time you're really, really glad your mom is not there. To have seen Momma worry and fret would have been a bigger wound to bear than the "Big C" was for after she lost my brother, her first born and dear son, life would have been unfair for Momma to have bore watching my sickness as well.  

Reality is life is never fair. I think a reality show: "Reality is Life is Never Fair" would be great. Seems a lot of folks need to learn to cope with that concept.  The Anthony (Momma) and Maynard (Daddy) families are made from strong stuff. Momma would have bore both hardships with an iron will.  The iron will that my fortune cookie said I had last night. That Chris said was my stubbornness. (And I would have to agree.) There is a stubbornness my parents put into me through their example, their life. A different, selfless stubbornness. Not the selfish kind.

My parents lived through tough times. Tough times of poverty, of depression of a country, of WW II that took Daddy away from family and the communities of Soak/Corntassel/Hopewell for a while. The iron will they contained within their souls was to take your punches, put your nose to the grindstone and live through hard times, for you have to live. Really live even when you see life and the unfairness that is of it.  You bear it and you go on with no worries or fear of future unfairness that may roll your way. You go on because there are little eyes watching you. Learning to bear times that will break most. Learning to have an iron will to make it through the loss of losing parents, the pain of the "Big C". Learning to live life with a quiet grace.

Back to my mom-in-law….She is a special one she is. In many ways Chris’s mom reminds me of Momma. The two being similar may have helped bear the load of losing Momma so young. But they are not totally alike. Too alike and I may have felt reluctance to have gotten to emotionally close to Emma. Felt like I was betraying Momma and her memory as I was too young to have much experience to process a situation like that.

Things in life are pretty amazing to gaze back upon. God works all things out for His good. Momma could not have lived forever, would not have. The short time line between Chris and I beginning dating to losing Momma was of course Divine Will. Who knows what our relationship would have been like if the time frame of those two events had been longer? Shorter? As it played out according to His plan the timing was perfect. I didn’t know Chris’s mom very well. I don’t even remember how many times Emma and I had met before Momma died. Perhaps if we had known each other longer there may have been some sort of animosity that occasionly grows between mother and daughter-in law. But that was worked out for Someone upstairs knew I would need a "helper mom".  Not a replacement, not a fill in, not a pretend, but a helpmate kinda mom. 

I’m sad for some of my friends who do not have the relationship with their mother-in-laws as I do with Emma. With some people and circumstances I understand those situations are tough. But I hope all women will at least be aware of what a mother-in-law has meant to their husband. The man they love. That those daughter-in-laws will remember the love they have for their own mother, like that they see between husband and his mom, and want that love to not only exist between two who are married but instead a close bond between all three.

Life is tough. I’ve been blessed to not only have one mother, but two. The very beloved mother of youth who instilled how to live, believe, love, and the mother of womanhood, who instills the faith that I can love both. It took a number of years to see those two mothers, one of youth, one of womanhood, without feeling as if I was betraying Momma, having guilt for loving Emma. But with His help I’ve realized that it’s not betrayal. Momma was going to die when I was 18, no matter of my love for Emma. And someday, when Emma passes, the pain will be like losing a second mother. But the pain of losing each will be unique.  Just as the love and life I experienced with each is unique.

I’m not sure if anything of this note makes sense. But it’s just a reminder to myself of the love of two.  And that sure feels good….I'm one heck of a lucky girl....


Emma Lee & I 2014 




Sunday, December 2, 2012

Stubborn

Chris and I ate Chinese tonight. My Fortune Cookie read "You have an iron will which helps you succeed in everything." Chris said there's never been a cookie's fortune truer than mine. My iron will = my stubbornness. I'll own it. I am stubborn.


Farsightedness

Age doesn't cause forehead wrinkles. Age causes farsightedness. As a result of treating farsightedness with Wal-Mart reading glasses, wrinkles on the forehead are created by having to bend chin down toward chest and peer over top of glasses, which sit awkwardly on the bridge of your nose, while crinkling forehead to look at things over an arm's length away.







Saturday, December 1, 2012

"Serving Abroad..Through Their Eyes"

"Serving Abroad...Through Their Eyes". What amazing photos submitted to the "Art in Embassies" 50th anniversary photo contest. I don't know which would be my favorite, Dolphin with a camera it's fin, dog parachute, soldier breakdancing, American Flag in the wall of sandbags, soldiers grieving, soldiers in the sunset, soldiers in the rain, soldiers playing pool. They are all so moving. Please take a moment to look at what members of our military see. It's very worthwhile. Would love to go see the display at the Pentagon in person.

Link to Photos entered in the contest

"Serving Abroad...Through Their Eyes"

"Twilight"

"Twilight" movies: I loved the first one, which seems to be everyone's least favorite. The second, not so much. Part one of three-a definite not so much. Part two of three-loved the action. On the other hand, Chris loved all three-one, two and part one and two of three. Well, not part one of three but part two of three. Or.....was there four? Anyway, they're over. Or....are they.....



Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Jared's Diamond

Chris: "Are you expecting a diamond for Christmas????" Me: "No. Ummm, why would you think that?" Chris: "I saw Jared Diamond on your Kindle." "Oh, that is the writer of a book I'm reading, not the store in Knoxville Babe."


As an aside....the mongoose

As an aside to the post on Snake vs Rat:
A mongoose is not a rat. They are carnivores where as a rat is omnivore. So I have no problem with the mongoose even though they kill poisonous snakes as they also kill rats. Besides who could not love "Rikki-Tikki-Tavi"?


Snakes Vs Rats

Before you kill that black snake in the spring think about rat = black death (bubonic plague). Rats carry several disgusting diseases and a female can produce up to 65 babies a year. Rats are, however, proving to be quite intelligent and are being tested to be used as "bomb" rats instead of using man's best friend (yay). I don't need a rat to sniff out a mine in my field. I do need a snake to control those nasty rats. 
(I don't want to see those snakes though!!! Insert Scream Here!!)



We have a VERY long black snake (he was the length of one of our farm gates the last time I saw him) that I call Fred.  Fred has been on the farm for probably ten years.  Chris says Fred is dead.  Even though I have not seen Fred in probably three years I have seen evidence.  When I showed the evidence to Chris he just said, "Marna, that is just another snake's skin."  But I told Chris, "No.  I recognize the skin.  It's Fred's skin."  The photo is my evidence of Fred from summer.  Come to think of it, this looks a little small to have fit Fred.  Maybe Chris is right and Fred is dead.........nah...




Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Carrot Eating Bucking Horse

Chris likes to read through the I trade everything kinda papers (cars, boats, dogs, cats, tools, land..) He was reading one tonight that said: 

"For Sale: palomino gelding, 16 years old, needs a good home. I don't have enough time to care for him. Experienced rider needed. (Chris says...wait for it, wait for it, wait for it)....... Very gentle." 

I asked: "Does that mean it's at an age that it should be broke but will only eat a carrot and buck you off at the same time?" I'm a little lost on that one....



Chris working with a yearling filly

Monday, November 26, 2012

People I don't see too often always ask me,

 usually very seriously and sweetly,

how I'm doing. I say "I'm perfect. Perfect

of body, but not perfect of mind." 




You shouldn't throw a stone at a bird on a wire and then hop away dancing backwards when that bird turns around and happens to be an eagle.


Friday, November 16, 2012

American Flag Etiquette


Flag Etiquette





STANDARDS of RESPECT
The Flag Code, which formalizes and unifies the traditional ways in which we give respect to the flag, also contains specific instructions on how the flag is not to be used. They are:
  • The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing. It is flown upside down only as a distress signal.
  • The flag should not be used as a drapery, or for covering a speakers desk, draping a platform, or for any decoration in general. Bunting of blue, white and red stripes is available for these purposes. The blue stripe of the bunting should be on the top.
  • The flag should never be used for any advertising purpose. It should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs, napkins, boxes, or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use. Advertising signs should not be attached to the staff or halyard
  • The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform, except that a flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations.
  • The flag should never have placed on it, or attached to it, any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind.
  • The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.
When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object; it should be received by waiting hands and arms. To store the flag it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.
The flag should be cleaned and mended when necessary.
When a flag is so worn it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of our country, it should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner.





Note: Most American Legion Posts regularly conduct a dignified flag burning ceremony, often on Flag Day, June 14th. Many Cub Scout Packs, Boy Scout Troops, and Girl Scout Troops retire flags regularly as well. Contact your local American Legion Hall or Scout Troop to inquire about the availability of this service.





Displaying the Flag Outdoors
When the flag is displayed from a staff projecting from a window, balcony, or a building, the union should be at the peak of the staff unless the flag is at half staff.
When it is displayed from the same flagpole with another flag - of a state, community, society or Scout unit - the flag of the United States must always be at the top except that the church pennant may be flown above the flag during church services for Navy personnel when conducted by a Naval chaplain on a ship at sea.
When the flag is displayed over a street, it should be hung vertically, with the union to the north or east. If the flag is suspended over a sidewalk, the flag's union should be farthest from the building.
When flown with flags of states, communities, or societies on separate flag poles which are of the same height and in a straight line, the flag of the United States is always placed in the position of honor - to its own right.
..The other flags may be smaller but none may be larger.
..No other flag ever should be placed above it.
..The flag of the United States is always the first flag raised and the last to be lowered.
When flown with the national banner of other countries, each flag must be displayed from a separate pole of the same height. Each flag should be the same size. They should be raised and lowered simultaneously. The flag of one nation may not be displayed above that of another nation.

Raising and Lowering the Flag
The flag should be raised briskly and lowered slowly and ceremoniously. Ordinarily it should be displayed only between sunrise and sunset. It should be illuminated if displayed at night.
The flag of the United States of America is saluted as it is hoisted and lowered. The salute is held until the flag is unsnapped from the halyard or through the last note of music, whichever is the longest.

Displaying the Flag Indoors
When on display, the flag is accorded the place of honor, always positioned to its own right. Place it to the right of the speaker or staging area or sanctuary. Other flags should be to the left.
The flag of the United States of America should be at the center and at the highest point of the group when a number of flags of states, localities, or societies are grouped for display.
When one flag is used with the flag of the United States of America and the staffs are crossed, the flag of the United States is placed on its own right with its staff in front of the other flag.
When displaying the flag against a wall, vertically or horizontally, the flag's union (stars) should be at the top, to the flag's own right, and to the observer's left.

Parading and Saluting the Flag
When carried in a procession, the flag should be to the right of the marchers. When other flags are carried, the flag of the United States may be centered in front of the others or carried to their right. When the flag passes in a procession, or when it is hoisted or lowered, all should face the flag and salute.

The Salute
To salute, all persons come to attention. Those in uniform give the appropriate formal salute. Citizens not in uniform salute by placing their right hand over the heart and men with head cover should remove it and hold it to left shoulder, hand over the heart. Members of organizations in formation salute upon command of the person in charge.

The Pledge of Allegiance and National Anthem
The pledge of allegiance should be rendered by standing at attention, facing the flag, and saluting.
When the national anthem is played or sung, citizens should stand at attention and salute at the first note and hold the salute through the last note. The salute is directed to the flag, if displayed, otherwise to the music.

The Flag in Mourning
To place the flag at half staff, hoist it to the peak for an instant and lower it to a position half way between the top and bottom of the staff. The flag is to be raised again to the peak for a moment before it is lowered. On Memorial Day the flag is displayed at half staff until noon and at full staff from noon to sunset.
The flag is to be flown at half staff in mourning for designated, principal government leaders and upon presidential or gubernatorial order.

When used to cover a casket, the flag should be placed with the union at the head and over the left shoulder. It should not be lowered into the grave.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Wise is the woman who lives by the principle

that if she is not satisfied with what she has,

 she will never be satisfied with what she wants.






Ummmm....Not sure I'm strong enough.


By: Me

Quiet Grace

I have always wondered how Daddy interacted with these kids. And where were they?  A school?  A City? I love the look on his face. So young and happy in the moment taking in the world with his quiet grace. 
Have a great Veteran's Day Weekend.

(Daddy, World War II Navy)

Oceans

I've always loved this photo from Daddy's Naval ship. The rough water with the ship in the distance. Such a picture which in my mind is all-encompassing of WWII.


Thursday, November 1, 2012

Shy?



Often many people confuse shyness with introversion.  They are not the same thing though many think they are.  Introverts may be shy but generally they are not.  Mostly they are loners-or prefer to generally do things alone.  They are more reserved, not as outgoing as others and may have fewer friends, mostly from preference.  Many times they prefer to do more on their own and put less importance on social activities.  Introverts generally do better in situations/work when they are alone.  It’s not that they are shy, that is just how they like life to be.

Extraverts are outgoing, very social, daring, speak their mind more readily, and enjoy excitement.  They like being involved with other people and do not perform as well in situations/work where they are alone.  My husband is the perfect example of an extravert.

Those who are shy usually are not introverted.  Most people lump the two together and assume they are the same thing, but again, they are not.  Shy people very, very much want to be a part of the “social” scene and have friends.  But they may not have the social skills or may have a personality that leans towards shyness.  This can set up hardship for them to be involved with others socially.

I’ve taken the Myer’s Brigg test several times throughout my life.  I am always split exactly down the middle of being an extravert and introvert.  My behavior for each depends on the situation in which I’m involved.  But the thing I am the most positive about is my shyness, which is not tested for as part of the Myer's Brigg.  Shyness has been an extremely difficult thing for me to deal with my entire life.   

When I was small I was outgoing, spoiled and a huge pest—to a certain age.  Then shyness took over with extended family and then more so with people I didn’t know.  I think I was shy to some extent in some situations from as long as I can remember.  I can remember hiding behind my mother from shyness.   The shyness became worse after my brother died when I was 7.  Then other things through teen years, which are hard years anyway, added to the problem.  I always desperately wanted to be more social, to have more friends.  But I was petrified of certain situations and hated school. (I could write a whole book on hating school, book 5.) 

It is a hard thing to admit you’re shy.  Shy people are often seen as weak. I’m afraid some people perceive me as aloof or not friendly.  At times in my life people have told me they heard I wasn’t a friendly person.  It hurts to be perceived in that way, mostly because I do care so deeply for everyone, even those I do not know.  Hence the reason I was a social worker for so many years.

After I know someone the shyness usually wears off.  But until then it’s very hard for me to get involved in social situations.  Chris has been great blessing for me.  He puts me at ease by taking center stage in social situations and he does things I would never do.   To an extent I can live vicariously through him.  Chris is very much a social butterfly!!  Whereas I am the wall-flower. 

I can I remember when my momma worked as a teacher’s aid while I was in high school.  She worked at the vocational school with the resource class.  Everyday they walked to my high school to have lunch.  My momma told me one day I was a wall flower—she had seen me from a distance down a hallway.  Momma said I just blended into the wall.   She often worried about my bashfulness.  

While in high school I had several teachers tell me “Oh, Marna, I wish all my students were like you.  Never talking too much in class.”  Of course I didn’t.  Even if I had a question I would never raise my hand.  Then I went to college.  I had a professor who told me one day that she wished I would speak out more in class.   I told her what some of my high school teachers had said to me, which I always took as a compliment.  She said, “Oh, no!  Marna I want to hear your opinion.  I want you to contribute.”

My oldest sister raised horses and I have always loved them.  A few years after Chris and I were married I began competing in some horse shows.  I really enjoyed being at home and getting ready with my horse.  And enjoyed some aspects of the shows.  Especially how great and friendly everyone was.  However I’m just not competitive and I think some of that stems from my shyness.  I didn’t like the feeling I got when I won nor did I like the feeling when I lost.  When I was young my momma would always try and get me to try different clubs and activities.  I never stayed with anything over a couple of years.  Which I think is similar to my horse show experiences—I was too shy to enjoy competition.

Nowadays, I think my mother in Heaven looks down on amazement that I actually managed to conquer many fears related to shyness and graduate with my Master’s Degree and only lacking 6 hours of course work toward a second.  Especially after the hard time I gave her about hating school and being so bashful.  (I think shyness will be the sixth book I’ll write.  Now, where is my ghostwriter……)

Shyness, bashfulness, being backward will always be an issue for me.  Sometimes a situation is easier to fight my way through than others and I win.  But sometimes I lose.  The key is that the older I get the easier it is for me to cope with those times I’ve lost.

(Photo of me as a baby.)

Monday, October 29, 2012

Life Lessons. Heaven.


After watching "Chasing Mavericks" last night I started thinking about life lessons.  The boy learning from his mentor.  His mentor learning from his student.  

My brother Gary died in 1979 when I was 7, nearly 8, in a jeep accident.  I was worried Gary had suffered and being so small questioned what happens after death. My momma and I had a lot of talks, about Heaven and God.  Talks a momma has with a child, a little girl.  

One day I asked momma what she thought Gary did in Heaven all day.  We talked about how he loved to fish and go jeep riding in the mountains.  Momma told me not to worry about Gary.  God had made Gary perfect and he was waiting for us all.    

When I was small I didn't like to read and liked studying even less.  Momma and I were talking about what we were going to do once we got to Heaven.  I told her that I wanted God to have a movie ready for me about the Bible.  That way I could watch the movie and not have to read the Bible stories.  Momma said "Oh no!  Not me.  I want to walk everywhere and see everything."  When momma died in 1990 I told Chris that I knew what she was doing.  She was walking, visiting, and seeing everything, everywhere.  

The past couple of years momma's talks about God and Heaven have seen me through some trying times.  Times where I learned that sitting and watching a movie are not the things I'd want to do anymore when the time rolls around.  Walking, visiting, and seeing everything, everywhere is more like it.  That and worshiping a God who has blessed me in so many rich and wonderful ways though I'm deserving of none.  One of the best of those blessing, a momma who took time in deep sorrow over the loss of a precious son to still my fears and offer comfort over loss.





Early 1970's - My brother Gary & friends
 They loved going 4-wheeling when it snowed
 


Early 1970's-Chris and I almost fell
into one of these one time with my Toyota
4 wheel drive truck in 1991



Early 1970's - My brother Gary and his friends.
Can you say stuck?



Early 1970's-sometimes they'd have 20 jeeps


Early 1970's. Gary and his friends
had so much fun!

Poem-There Once Was a Woman....

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she only had three hairs on her head. “Well”, she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmm”, she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the 

middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well”, she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “YAY!” she exclaimed. “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Anonymous



Chris and I in Miami.  December 2010.
Last radiation treatment when we came home from the cruise.  First time in public with no scarf. 
 I wasn't going to wear that yucky thing in the Bahamas! 





Arrow

Caught the last 15 minutes of the new show "Arrow". The main guy and his dad were stranded in the sea on a floating raft. The man told his son that there wasn't enough room for them all to survive and then killed himself. I asked Chris, "Would you jump off a raft in shark infested waters off the coast of Africa to save me from certain death?" Chris, "Sure".


Here Comes the Boom

We watched "Here Comes the Boom" at the movies today.  It was cute and fun.  But one I should have waited to rent at home.  I'm pretty picky about movies.


Africa

Our lights flashed on a buck in a field tonight. Chris turned around and put the car lights toward it. Another deer was about twenty feet from the first. They started walking toward each other but stopped quick. A very aggravated skunk was between them! I told Chris that this is what Africa would be like. Chris said "I'm not going to Africa. It's like 24 hours in a plane and we could crash and die." I said "Oh, who do you know that has crashed and died on a plane ride to Africa?" Chris replied "us".




"Chasing Mavericks"

Chris and I watched "Chasing Mavericks" this weekend at the movies.  I really enjoyed the movie immensely.  The relationships of characters were very complex.  This was much more than a surfer dude movie.  Deep lessons of life are learned as is the strength of one young man and the ability of an older man to open himself into a position of mentoring as a type of father. Highly recommend watching!



Fear vs Panic

"Fear and panic are two separate emotions. Fear's healthy. Panic's deadly." 

-"Chasing Mavericks"




"The Descendants"

Chris was watching George Clooney run down the street in the movie "The Descendants". Chris said "He isn't very athletic is he?" I said "he isn't as bad as me, I mean, I'm more athletic than that, right?" Chris said "Yeah, um, yup, um.... no."




Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Lynette's Birthday at Dollywood

Great afternoon at Dollywood with my sister Lynette, niece Jessie and great niece and nephew Mallie Belle and Jack. Dollywood is one of Lynette's favorite places so it was nice to be there on a gorgeous fall day for her birthday.



Saturday, October 20, 2012

Chick flicks

I LOVE MOVIES!  
Here are a few of my favorite chick-flick movies, in no particular order.


Chris calls me Diane Keaton because
I love turtlenecks.

Not a Kelly Preston fan but love
this movie. No one plays a
better ball player
 than Kevin Costner.

So cute!  

Co-Stars made this movie great!

Love the dress on the cover!

My favorite Kate Hudson movie. 
Matt M is pretty great too!

Why do I like her movies so much?
The good ones are good....
the bad ones are, well, bad.

Love hockey!
So of course love this movie.

The models in "Head over Heels"
 are so funny!

This movie is why
I have the "Diesel" dog.

Cute. Enjoyed.

A silly teen movie. But I liked it.

Crude. 
LOVE Gerard Butler though.

One of my favorite
all time movies!!!!

Probably wouldn't have liked
this movie if Emma Stone
wasn't in it.

Reese's best movie.

Who couldn't love "Serendipity"? 
Cool name and Kate B and John C are in it.

Who would've thought this
two actors would make a
good movie together?
But they did.

Love, love, love! 
Could I please have Ashley Judd's
clothing and hairstylist? 
Just for a month.
I'd be happy with that.

Not her best but the baby vomit
is so funny.  And the actress,
 can't remember her name,
which plays the sister-in-law.
Love her.

Watching right now. Love!