Monday, April 20, 2015

Ami James

Well crap.  My big question for "Casting for Recovery" met a big fat no.  Which I knew it would.  I wanted to have a tattoo on my wrist-----No BP No Stick.  Hmmmm...the fact that a needle for the tattoo would be inserting ink into the arm where lymph nodes were removed did cross my mind as a contradiction.

But I hoped to meet Ami James.........

No Driving

After speaking with my doctor tomorrow I already know my driving privileges will be revoked for six months.  It's creates such difficults.  But I remind myself there so many, so many living with and in worse situations than I.

Life Lesson

Enduring one tragedy or hardship in life does not exempt one from someday experiencing more.......


It's that time of the year, once per year, for my neurology appointment.  Of course it's been moved up a couple of weeks following my seizure a week ago.

There's nothing like coming to your senses in an ambulance, not remembering how you got there.  How strange to hear men in the back of a box saying "43 year old woman....seizure. ..blah blah...." talking about you. Me? No. No. can't be. What happened!

I'd experienced the same five years or so ago on a busy day of work.  Coming to while  in a box with men in uniforms saying "38 year old woman....blah, blah, blah...."

Similar questions were asked on both occasions,  "do you know your you know what you know your birthday....etc, etc."

The situation I awoke to on Saturday night seemed worse.  HOW did this happen?  In Knoxville!  I've been on anti-seizure medication for five years.

The first seizure, five years ago?   I had an inkling of where I was, had been.  This one? I was terrified! So surreal, knowing I was in an ambulance far from home, wondering how?  But how could this be me? I cannot put to words or paper the horrible, horrible confusion I felt trying to process in my mind what was happening and that it was happening to me. I wasn't watching some movie about someone else.

The ER was great at Tennova.   Very attentive and one nurse quickly realized the reason I fought silently against the blood pressure cuff was that I was a breast cancer survivor.  Pretty obvious to her as another nurse was taking my shirt off to exchange for a hospital gown.

She quickly asked which side my cancer had been?  (My horribly disfigured, ugly chest leaves to question which side or both.) I told her the right and the RN asked me about lymph node removal.  YES!  From right arm, where the cancer had been.

The nurse, luckily began removing the cuff to move to my left arm where a lymph nodes safely remain.  She also made sure the IV was placed in my left arm.

The younger nurse asked why and the RN explained breast cancer, lymph node removal and lymphedema - every survivor's worst nightmare.  What a great training experience for the younger nurse! I've had a similar situations with blood pressure cuffs and needle sticks, including one of my surgeries last year.  I am very quickly protective of my right arm and explain why.  Nothing like on the job training for nurses.  I truly am happy to have assisted in hopefully a few people in the medical field's awareness of breast cancer patients, lymph nodes and lymphedema.  I doubt that type of situation arises often in an ER.

The only bad-I wasn't fond of the doctor.   At all.

Questions ring so deep about what happened.  The last thing I remember is sitting at the red light looking at Wasabi while thinking I wish a friend and I could have met for dinner.

I must have went into the seizure at that point.  I don't remember my car going across five lanes of traffic to hit a car on the other side.  I would love to see a video. How on earth did that happen with minimal damage to my car and the car I hit?  How did no one hit me as my car went through five lanes of traffic.  I would also like to know how long the seizure lasted, amount of time I was unresponsive to stimuli, etc.

All I know is my guardian angel was on overtime to protect me on a busy Saturday night at 8 pm at the major red light in Turkey Creek-Lovell Rd cross.

All I also know is this post is a disjointed, rambling mess so I'll stop now.  Perhaps I'll return later to re-write.....