Thursday, March 27, 2014

Vacation???? Ugh....

Before Chris's busy season of horse showing begins I'd like to go on a short three or four day vacation.   Planning is proving next to impossible.

Chris and I started dating in 1990 or married in 1996.  Our honeymoon was a horse show and those have prevented many of a getting away trips.  It's hard to find people willing and capable of taking care of our farm.  And knowing how to tell when things are going wrong, such as being able to tell when a horse is sick.  Owning a farming/horse training business is a huge responsibility.  Horses are placed in our care.  And both Chris and I care deeply about that trust owners put into us.

Oh, we've been on one night trips in and around Sevier County.  We travel a lot for horse shows. But when at horse shows sight seeing is next to none.  That's not why Chris is out of town.  He is very busy with horses and customers.   All night. All day.  I've known many times he's slept in a chair next to stalls.  No time for sleep at a hotel. Or to weary to go.  It's trying work physically.   But he loves it.  That's all that matters.

Outer Banks 2009

Outer Banks-Chris went parasailing.  Me, um, no. They
offered to let me go free just to get me to try. hmmm...they
had no idea who I was.....Free or not. No way.
In 2009 we went to The Outer Banks.  It was the first time Chris had ever seen the ocean.  We had a great time.  We had a week's reservation.   There on Sunday, leave Saturday.  I had everything ready for our hotel.  My sister's family vacation is to the Outer Banks since 1997.  I have been with them twice.

I made reservations at little hotel they had used those two times.  It was old and a historical land mark.  When we pulled in and parked in front of the checkin Chris stared straight ahead.  He finally said, "Marna, this is the type of hotel people live in."  I said no, it's a historical landmark.  It's a bit old but right on the beach.  Wonderful history.  Chris said, "No...this is the kinda place people LIVE in."

We had a good week but on Wednesday night Chris said in a quite tone, "I'm kinda ready to go home."
I looked at him and said, "Me too."
So we checked out on Thursday and headed home.

Outer Banks 2009

Cruising-first stop-Key West

The next time we tried a vacation in December 2010.  I'd been through six rounds of chemo and would be finishing up my last radiation the week of the trip.  Our friends from Ohio really wanted us to go.  So we did.  And we enjoyed somewhat.  I was just growing my hair out.  It was a mess.  But I didn't wear a scarf.  I was on vacation and didn't want a old hot scarf on my head.  I was also very tired from the radiation treatments and also because of them couldn't be in full sun.  Or swim.

Chris and I will probably never go on another cruise.  We didn't enjoy it enough to.  However, had I not been sick and tired the outcome may have been more positive.

Friends in Bahamas 
Last night on ship with friends

So back to now.  Beach, no.  Chris didn't care for the beach.  He would if I wanted but really he doesn't.  I tried to find a cabin on a lake somewhere that we could rent and take our boat.  He could wakeboard and then we can eat and see the sights.  I've called some at Nantahala Lake but haven't heard back.  They may not allow wakeboarding.

Chris said he wouldn't mind going to Vegas.  We aren't big on gambling.  But Chris only wants to see a
magic show.  (I hate magic)  If we go there I'd want to see the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam.  I just don't know if we have time to do all that.

My dream is Africa.  That isn't going to happened.  Chris said NO he will never go.  He doesn't care about seeing tigers.  I told him the tigers are in India and places.  Not on the plains of Africa.

I need ideas.  We have tons.  I'm afraid we'll go somewhere and it will turn out bad.  Then we have wasted three days.  Plus I cannot get in water with my wound which is still healing.  And physically can't do a lot because of that as well.  Cuts down on the possibilities of fun.

Chris said New Orleans.  I'm not feeling that.  I'd love to go to Niagra Falls.  But not really feeling like that either.

Decisions...Not being able to decide.  Does that mean I really don't want to go?

Our Friend

One of friend's, Larry, passed away about 3:30 am today.  Hearts are heavy in Monroe County.  Larry was a great guy, much loved and a great family.

Some very old photos.  I can't find many-more recent.

My First Throwback Thursday

My first Throwback Thursday.  I'm not sure why I chose this event.  A friend's wedding 2008.  I think 2008.

Maybe it's a combination of the two surgeries since Christmas, the hope of one to become more "normal" which resulted to a second surgery and the loss of that dream forever.  Maybe the four or five in office procedures since then, and more to come, maybe it's the trauma so many friends and family have had recently that make me feel guilty for being vain.  I dunno.  I just know all of a sudden I remembered this wedding.  I remember this was the FIRST time in all of my 37 years at the time that I'd ever worn a strapless anything.  And I was so nervous during the fittings.  I really did not want to wear that dress.  I'd also never had that much make up on.  It took a day to remove!

The wedding was such fun.  Looking at the photos remind me of my breasts before cancer.  I kinda liked them.  Even though I hid them behind turtlenecks.  The photos also remind me of my skin.  My skin before chemo.  Skin that didn't have horrible chemo spots.  The hair.  Thick. Natural.  Teeth.  Unharmed by chemicals.  Eyes of brown.  Now turned a sort of greenish brown.

These photos are silly.  But it's fun to be silly from time to time.  Perhaps the reason my mind brought these pics to mind is the fact that it was such a fun, carefree time.  A time that has been lacking in the past four years.  A time which in a hurry to heal this last bump in my road will be back again.

When I really think of it this Throwback Thursday it's one of memory of before cancer.  But also the dreams of what life will be like after cancer-after the after affects are forever gone.  It will be such.  I'll make it such.

Silly boy!

Peanut taught me to sign.  Not sure what it's called.
She had to TEACH me.  I kept "throwing"
a peace sign.  Not sure what the new sign and face
are called.  But pretty sure it's not a peace sign.

I CANNOT dance.  But tried.

Me and three of the other bridesmaids.  We 
had a great time getting ready.  There was
a woman putting our make up on professionally
(I'd never be able to get so perfectly like she did!)
And also our hair fixed by a hairstylist.  Felt
as though we were pampered and it was our special 
day.  I think our friend who was the bride wanted it
that way.  I did do one thing for myself.  Well two.
I did my own nails in a french manicure (gasp!)
And I ate a Bert's pizza.  :)