It's up to you to know when a sack full of goodies is really a sack full of empty egg cartons.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Hand Eye Coordianation
Casting For Recovery photo disk finally arrived from the event. I was nervous looking through over 1000 pics! I found this one. I was getting upset and frustrated because i was just discovering 5 years after chemo my brain and hands do not coordinate anymore. I wonder if our instructor saw. She basically had to tie all my knots. All day.
Yoga, heart attack and sore arms
I text my niece "my arms ache. Bad." She text back, "yoga or heart attack". Umm, yoga but saying heart attack makes me feel VERY old.......thanks......where's that popcorn..............
Life isn't static
Learned lot during ny 43 yrs. When confronted to life changing events one reacts and become better & stronger or either the opposite is chosen from perhaps weakess and fear or belief you're correct.
Life doesn't stay static!!! Those events are opportunities for choice; which reaction you take. Which road you split.
In turn in the future the reaction/choice you made in the past will affect those life events, life changing choices you, yourself will be faced with someday. Your own.life changing event or events -- How will your past dececions affect you present? Will your choice be different for strength or turn back to fear? Will you regret the choice made during the first life alternating event and react in a new way. Or will you be unable to break from perhaps guilt to once again choose a path which will lead you into deeper blackness or a choice you're perfectly at peace with.
(I'll be editing because I have honestly no idea exactly what point I'm trying to make and how to make it.)
Life doesn't stay static!!! Those events are opportunities for choice; which reaction you take. Which road you split.
In turn in the future the reaction/choice you made in the past will affect those life events, life changing choices you, yourself will be faced with someday. Your own.life changing event or events -- How will your past dececions affect you present? Will your choice be different for strength or turn back to fear? Will you regret the choice made during the first life alternating event and react in a new way. Or will you be unable to break from perhaps guilt to once again choose a path which will lead you into deeper blackness or a choice you're perfectly at peace with.
(I'll be editing because I have honestly no idea exactly what point I'm trying to make and how to make it.)
Sunday, May 31, 2015
Emma Lee Hull
But if you build a relationship with your mother-in-law you can love two. Not a replacement mother but one who loves your husband as much as you love her. You love your baby boy, Chris, as much as I love you, Emma Lee Hull.
And although I fail at times I aspire to love Chris as you do....you're an amazing mother who loves her children fiercely (whom I hope is considered one) live an inspiring life and loved by all who've know you and Emma Lee your life touches those who have never met you through stories heard from friends and family and family and friends of what a strong, loyal, faithful friend, Strong Christian and the type of person one would love to be friends with.
(This post cannot express what I'm trying to say. Maybe there are no words. But the point I'm trying to make is all jumbled up now.)
And although I fail at times I aspire to love Chris as you do....you're an amazing mother who loves her children fiercely (whom I hope is considered one) live an inspiring life and loved by all who've know you and Emma Lee your life touches those who have never met you through stories heard from friends and family and family and friends of what a strong, loyal, faithful friend, Strong Christian and the type of person one would love to be friends with.
(This post cannot express what I'm trying to say. Maybe there are no words. But the point I'm trying to make is all jumbled up now.)
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Soon
Soon. Soon I will write blogs but I feel tired and old.
Blog posts on Diesel's death, Chris's mom's terminal illness, my great niece's 8th grade graduation and several others.
Soon. I hope soon to feel like writing. ...
Blog posts on Diesel's death, Chris's mom's terminal illness, my great niece's 8th grade graduation and several others.
Soon. I hope soon to feel like writing. ...
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Spending the Night
Chris's brother Steve has lived with their mama for probably going on 15 years. Chris spent the night at his mom's the other night and plans to as many nights as possible.
As I talked with Emma tonight she asked if I cared if Chris spent the night tonight? I said of course not and he should do so as many nights as possible. I told her it was good for him and her...
As I talked with Emma tonight she asked if I cared if Chris spent the night tonight? I said of course not and he should do so as many nights as possible. I told her it was good for him and her...
Chris's mama.
All the family is so devastated about dealing with Emma Lee's cancer diagnosis. It's almost surreal to think about her dying as she's so healthy, on the outside, right now. Some of the family is in denial, some not facing the reality of life and death. All tremendously sad with fits of crying spells you fear will never end.
We just talked on the phone. She had just finished a plate of chicken and dumplings and fussing about the cough I've had for what's going on a month. When hanging up the nagging thought which continues to persist rises again....what is worse....waiting to watch Emma Lee's health decline unto death or a sudden, unexpected loss such as my brother's, mother's and father's?
All I know is they all suck a big toe. (My go to, feel bad expression.)
And that's all I gotta say about that.
We just talked on the phone. She had just finished a plate of chicken and dumplings and fussing about the cough I've had for what's going on a month. When hanging up the nagging thought which continues to persist rises again....what is worse....waiting to watch Emma Lee's health decline unto death or a sudden, unexpected loss such as my brother's, mother's and father's?
All I know is they all suck a big toe. (My go to, feel bad expression.)
And that's all I gotta say about that.
Cancer Scams...
I'm very upset, but not surprised, about the news of four cancer charities accused of $180 million in scams.
Reasons I'm reluctant to give to cancer charities? Even as a survivor? These. I do not support Komen nor many national organizations. I prefer donations be kept in county. Unfortunately there are no major fund raising happening in Monroe County to do so. One local program can assist with gas $. However there is need for help with co-pays, transportation, prevention programs, dectection programs, Hospice care expenses. The list is so long as to what services locally are needed.
Perhaps. Perhaps research is getting plenty of the pie...
Local funding? Sounds like a blog for later....
Reasons I'm reluctant to give to cancer charities? Even as a survivor? These. I do not support Komen nor many national organizations. I prefer donations be kept in county. Unfortunately there are no major fund raising happening in Monroe County to do so. One local program can assist with gas $. However there is need for help with co-pays, transportation, prevention programs, dectection programs, Hospice care expenses. The list is so long as to what services locally are needed.
Perhaps. Perhaps research is getting plenty of the pie...
Local funding? Sounds like a blog for later....
Friday, May 15, 2015
MRI
Chris's mom's MRI results back today. No cancer in brain!!! And she can drive! Wish I'd had a video of that-I think she jumped up and shouted "thank you Jesus" louder then than any other time when the news came she could drive--as long as she has strength too. Bless it....... ha ha :)
Thursday, May 14, 2015
What to do for Emma Lee
I've been receiving many calls and texts about Chris's mama. Yes. Her cancer has returned. With a vengeance. But right now she is her wonderful, sweet, perky, happy self. However, Emma Lee has been told not to drive. To everyone who knows she has the Hull want to go, go, go gene, not driving will be a difficult adjustment. She loves to go! And can conttinue to go, go, go just fine right now with those she normally "runs around" with. Just not as the driver.
Wondering about visiting? Friends please do. Especially within next month while she is feeling good. Go while she's feeling well so she can get much enjoyment from friends. Like I said, she's ok right now. For now.
Wondering what to do if you can't visit? CARDS!!!! She loves, loves, loves cards. I cannot emphasize enough how much so. Thinking of you cards would be wonderful!! From anyone and everyone who knows her or anyone in the family or friends of the family.
Mail to: Emma Lee Hull, 102 Hiwassee Dr, Madisonville, TN 37354.
Her son, Steve, lives with her so he'd be a great one to ask if she's needing or wanting anything particular.
Continue to pray particularly for comfort for of course Emma Lee, but also her children who are so beloved to her: Bridget, Steve, Perry and of course the "baby" Chris. As well as the rest of the family to whom she is beloved.
Wondering about visiting? Friends please do. Especially within next month while she is feeling good. Go while she's feeling well so she can get much enjoyment from friends. Like I said, she's ok right now. For now.
Wondering what to do if you can't visit? CARDS!!!! She loves, loves, loves cards. I cannot emphasize enough how much so. Thinking of you cards would be wonderful!! From anyone and everyone who knows her or anyone in the family or friends of the family.
Mail to: Emma Lee Hull, 102 Hiwassee Dr, Madisonville, TN 37354.
Her son, Steve, lives with her so he'd be a great one to ask if she's needing or wanting anything particular.
Continue to pray particularly for comfort for of course Emma Lee, but also her children who are so beloved to her: Bridget, Steve, Perry and of course the "baby" Chris. As well as the rest of the family to whom she is beloved.
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Endurance
Enduring one hardship in life does not make us immune to more. Stay strong should you be faced with a situation such as that. Don't become bitter and ask "why me....again. it's not fair". Keep the Faith.
Sticking with Dr. Charles
I had written about Dr. Charles leaving Thompson Oncology and my dilemma of following him to UT.
I'm following. Today was my first day to see him since "the letter" and my potentially last appointment ever with the oncologist who i credit saving my life. I knew the minute my appointment started I'd follow. But was secure in that decision when, following my appointment, Dr Charles had my mother-in-law for a follow-up to her PET scan.
Tragic news he delivered. Chris's mother's cancer is back and is terminal. She has 3-4 months to live without treatment, 7-8 with. As quality of life is preferred the family decided to forgo treatment. MRI to check brain tomorrow. Hthospice in home within the week.
What hard news to deliver. The way it was, even though blunt, showed me Dr. Charles is the oncologist for me. Hopefully no changes in remission in the future of my life. However, should there be I'll deal with my aversion to UT then.
I'm following. Today was my first day to see him since "the letter" and my potentially last appointment ever with the oncologist who i credit saving my life. I knew the minute my appointment started I'd follow. But was secure in that decision when, following my appointment, Dr Charles had my mother-in-law for a follow-up to her PET scan.
Tragic news he delivered. Chris's mother's cancer is back and is terminal. She has 3-4 months to live without treatment, 7-8 with. As quality of life is preferred the family decided to forgo treatment. MRI to check brain tomorrow. Hthospice in home within the week.
What hard news to deliver. The way it was, even though blunt, showed me Dr. Charles is the oncologist for me. Hopefully no changes in remission in the future of my life. However, should there be I'll deal with my aversion to UT then.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Breast Cancer Myth Article Must Read
Think and worry about breast cancer as most women do? This myth article is a MUST read!!! Touches on issues such as self exams, genetics and birth control pills. I rarely use "must read", however I feel strongly about this article and research involved. But remember it is only an opinion piece as many are. Let me know what you think in the comments sections!
Five Myths about Breast Cancer
Five Myths about Breast Cancer
Monday, May 11, 2015
Everyone Loved Lucy
Everyone loved Lucy. We miss her so much at the Trustee's office and cannot imagine the pain of her family. Thirty years of dedicated service to Monroe County. Below is the obituary with details of receiving friends and burial. Everyone loved Lucy...
Lucille Garrett
Born: January 19, 1948
Died: May 7, 2015
Garrett, Lucille (Lucy), age 67, of Madisonville, passed away 8:05 A.M. Thursday, May 7, 2015 at her home. Member of Watson Chapel Baptist Church & Attended Unity Baptist Church. A 30 year employee with Monroe Co. Trustee Office. Member of the Pilot Club and a past President of the Monroe Co. Republican party. Survivors, husband of 47 years, Carl Garrett, Son & daughter-in-law, Tony & Robin Garrett, Grandson, Blake Garrett, Sister, Diana Martin, Brothers & sisters-in-law, Amos & Barbara Martin, all of Madisonville, Gerald & Judy Martin, Niota, Mildred Martin, Erma Martin, both of Madisonville, A host of nieces & nephews. Preceded in death by parents, William J. (Bill) & Fannie Belle Fain Martin, brothers, W.B. & Dwayne Martin. Funeral 8 P.M. Sunday, Biereley-Hale Chapel, Rev. John Butler & Rev. B.J. Wall officiating. Interment 11 A.M. Monday, Chestua Baptist Cemetery. Family will receive friends 6-8 P.M. Sunday at Biereley-Hale Funeral Home, Madisonville.
Lucille Garrett
Born: January 19, 1948
Died: May 7, 2015
Garrett, Lucille (Lucy), age 67, of Madisonville, passed away 8:05 A.M. Thursday, May 7, 2015 at her home. Member of Watson Chapel Baptist Church & Attended Unity Baptist Church. A 30 year employee with Monroe Co. Trustee Office. Member of the Pilot Club and a past President of the Monroe Co. Republican party. Survivors, husband of 47 years, Carl Garrett, Son & daughter-in-law, Tony & Robin Garrett, Grandson, Blake Garrett, Sister, Diana Martin, Brothers & sisters-in-law, Amos & Barbara Martin, all of Madisonville, Gerald & Judy Martin, Niota, Mildred Martin, Erma Martin, both of Madisonville, A host of nieces & nephews. Preceded in death by parents, William J. (Bill) & Fannie Belle Fain Martin, brothers, W.B. & Dwayne Martin. Funeral 8 P.M. Sunday, Biereley-Hale Chapel, Rev. John Butler & Rev. B.J. Wall officiating. Interment 11 A.M. Monday, Chestua Baptist Cemetery. Family will receive friends 6-8 P.M. Sunday at Biereley-Hale Funeral Home, Madisonville.
Lucy on Sunburns
I have a sunburn on my shoulders. Lucy hated me to have sunburns and would always fuss saying "Chris shouldn't make you work out in the sun" as she laughed. I missed that admonishment today and will each time I get a sunburn for the rest of my days. Love you Luce.
Lucy's Burial
Today was a very sad day for a family with extremely close bonds. Lucy Garrett's burial was this morning. She was a 30 year employee of the Trustee's office of which I was privileged to know for 7 years. She was was much beloved wife, mother, sister, friend. I cannot imagine the grief the family is experiencing and will continue to feel for so long. You were loved Lucy.
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Mother's Day 2015
I so enjoy seeing all the Mother's Day photos. The day, however, reminds me of Mother's Day 1990 when our sweet mother died.
Such a special lady. My father loved her so. He never dated nor re-married all the way till his end in 2008. We found a small sticky calendar on the dash of his truck right after his death. The only date in the entire, tiny 2008 calendar circled was her death date. Oh what an amazing love they shared....
I hope everyone has an extra special day for Mother's Day, whether she's there to share or not, whether you're a mother or not.
Such a special lady. My father loved her so. He never dated nor re-married all the way till his end in 2008. We found a small sticky calendar on the dash of his truck right after his death. The only date in the entire, tiny 2008 calendar circled was her death date. Oh what an amazing love they shared....
I hope everyone has an extra special day for Mother's Day, whether she's there to share or not, whether you're a mother or not.
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Oh no! My oncologist!
I'm tragically upset. My letter arrived. The letter I'd heard the the grapevine was on its way. Dr. Charles, my Oncologist at Thompson Oncology Group, is transferring to University Cancer Specialist as of June 1.
I have an appointment with him Wednesday - my last to be ever. I don't want to go. How do I face the man I credit for saving my life one last time???? Who I would trust to save my life should there be a reoccurrence. How do I learn to develop a relationship with a new doctor who hasn't been in the trenches with me? I'll just be a patient who has tests twice a year and a 15 minute follow up. And how do I even find that doctor? The doctor who can never really KNOW me. Who can never understand my corny jokes about "Hooters" and so many other silly things, though Dr
Charles never really laughed or liked them I suppose. Dr. Charles would only say, "Ms. Marna" with a small smile. My need to lighten the mood of such a depressing place was maybe at least understood by Dr. Charles.
I'm tragically sad. Many may not understand. But if you've faced a life and death battle with one doctor and then follow up for the years since, you'll know, you'll understand the fear that's gripping.....
I have an appointment with him Wednesday - my last to be ever. I don't want to go. How do I face the man I credit for saving my life one last time???? Who I would trust to save my life should there be a reoccurrence. How do I learn to develop a relationship with a new doctor who hasn't been in the trenches with me? I'll just be a patient who has tests twice a year and a 15 minute follow up. And how do I even find that doctor? The doctor who can never really KNOW me. Who can never understand my corny jokes about "Hooters" and so many other silly things, though Dr
Charles never really laughed or liked them I suppose. Dr. Charles would only say, "Ms. Marna" with a small smile. My need to lighten the mood of such a depressing place was maybe at least understood by Dr. Charles.
I'm tragically sad. Many may not understand. But if you've faced a life and death battle with one doctor and then follow up for the years since, you'll know, you'll understand the fear that's gripping.....
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Casting for Recovery donations
"Relay for Life" is fast approaching. That makes me think-- I've never, ever promoted giving to a particular breast cancer "cause". In truth I'm skeptical about very many! But....if you want to find a breast cancer program to donate funds or gifts please, please, consider "Casting for Recovery". I can speak from first hand knowledge your contribution goes directly toward the participants. And the program DIRECTLY impacts breast cancer survivors lives and healing. Like I've said, I never promote programs. But this one I know is worthy of your support. What an amazing weekend of fellowship.
Link for information on "Casting for Recovery":
Casting for Recovery
Link for information on "Casting for Recovery":
Casting for Recovery
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| My trout fishing group. |
Monday, April 27, 2015
"Cool"?
All you have to do to be a "cool ole" great aunt who makes great nieces look at flowers is take them to Run 21 and listen to their favorite music. Loud. .....Oh, and fuss about selfies......
Sunday, April 26, 2015
Chris's Mom
Chris's mom's 6 month tests came back and shows some areas of concern. Spots on lung. I fear her cancer has returned. Praying for best on PET Scan next week.
That's all I can say about that......
That's all I can say about that......
2014-2015 Nashville Predators
Well. Proud of the Preds!! What a year after being called, last summer, worst odds for Stanley Cup. An amazing playoff round of boys vs veterans missing Shea Weber and Mr. Carrie Underwood for some games.
The bad part? Ugh. Put out by Chicago. Anybody but Chicago! That hurts worst. The only thing I half way like about the Hawks is #91 and that's only because he was Ranger.
The bad part? Ugh. Put out by Chicago. Anybody but Chicago! That hurts worst. The only thing I half way like about the Hawks is #91 and that's only because he was Ranger.
Friday, April 24, 2015
Yogurt class??
Talking to Chris's mom tonight and she asked where I was. I told her we had been to yoga class and Chelsea was taking me home. Nana said. "Yogurt class? Do you run and jump in yogurt class?" Ohhhhh nana. You are precious.
Yoga tragedies again tonight. Mexi-Wing after class.
Yoga tragedies again tonight. Mexi-Wing after class.
Chris's mom...........
Chris's mom was diagnosed with lung cancer almost two years ago. After all this time some check up tests have shown some new spots in her lungs. PET scan next week. Pray....
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Doctor Today
Yuck. Who likes to go to the doctor? No one. But one thing makes it great, family time. My sister Lynette and nephew Tanner took me to today's appointment.
Lunch at Tanner's favorite cheeseburger
joint: Five Guys and Fries
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
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Monday, April 20, 2015
Ami James
Well crap. My big question for "Casting for Recovery" met a big fat no. Which I knew it would. I wanted to have a tattoo on my wrist-----No BP No Stick. Hmmmm...the fact that a needle for the tattoo would be inserting ink into the arm where lymph nodes were removed did cross my mind as a contradiction.
No Driving
After speaking with my doctor tomorrow I already know my driving privileges will be revoked for six months. It's creates such difficults. But I remind myself there so many, so many living with and in worse situations than I.
Life Lesson
Enduring one tragedy or hardship in life does not exempt one from someday experiencing more.......
Seizure
It's that time of the year, once per year, for my neurology appointment. Of course it's been moved up a couple of weeks following my seizure a week ago.
There's nothing like coming to your senses in an ambulance, not remembering how you got there. How strange to hear men in the back of a box saying "43 year old woman....seizure. ..blah blah...." talking about you. Me? No. No. No....it can't be. What happened!
I'd experienced the same five years or so ago on a busy day of work. Coming to while in a box with men in uniforms saying "38 year old woman....blah, blah, blah...."
Similar questions were asked on both occasions, "do you know your name....do you know what happened....do you know your birthday....etc, etc."
The situation I awoke to on Saturday night seemed worse. HOW did this happen? In Knoxville! I've been on anti-seizure medication for five years.
The first seizure, five years ago? I had an inkling of where I was, had been. This one? I was terrified! So surreal, knowing I was in an ambulance far from home, wondering how? But how could this be me? I cannot put to words or paper the horrible, horrible confusion I felt trying to process in my mind what was happening and that it was happening to me. I wasn't watching some movie about someone else.
The ER was great at Tennova. Very attentive and one nurse quickly realized the reason I fought silently against the blood pressure cuff was that I was a breast cancer survivor. Pretty obvious to her as another nurse was taking my shirt off to exchange for a hospital gown.
She quickly asked which side my cancer had been? (My horribly disfigured, ugly chest leaves to question which side or both.) I told her the right and the RN asked me about lymph node removal. YES! From right arm, where the cancer had been.
The nurse, luckily began removing the cuff to move to my left arm where a lymph nodes safely remain. She also made sure the IV was placed in my left arm.
The younger nurse asked why and the RN explained breast cancer, lymph node removal and lymphedema - every survivor's worst nightmare. What a great training experience for the younger nurse! I've had a similar situations with blood pressure cuffs and needle sticks, including one of my surgeries last year. I am very quickly protective of my right arm and explain why. Nothing like on the job training for nurses. I truly am happy to have assisted in hopefully a few people in the medical field's awareness of breast cancer patients, lymph nodes and lymphedema. I doubt that type of situation arises often in an ER.
The only bad-I wasn't fond of the doctor. At all.
Questions ring so deep about what happened. The last thing I remember is sitting at the red light looking at Wasabi while thinking I wish a friend and I could have met for dinner.
I must have went into the seizure at that point. I don't remember my car going across five lanes of traffic to hit a car on the other side. I would love to see a video. How on earth did that happen with minimal damage to my car and the car I hit? How did no one hit me as my car went through five lanes of traffic. I would also like to know how long the seizure lasted, amount of time I was unresponsive to stimuli, etc.
All I know is my guardian angel was on overtime to protect me on a busy Saturday night at 8 pm at the major red light in Turkey Creek-Lovell Rd cross.
All I also know is this post is a disjointed, rambling mess so I'll stop now. Perhaps I'll return later to re-write.....
There's nothing like coming to your senses in an ambulance, not remembering how you got there. How strange to hear men in the back of a box saying "43 year old woman....seizure. ..blah blah...." talking about you. Me? No. No. No....it can't be. What happened!
I'd experienced the same five years or so ago on a busy day of work. Coming to while in a box with men in uniforms saying "38 year old woman....blah, blah, blah...."
Similar questions were asked on both occasions, "do you know your name....do you know what happened....do you know your birthday....etc, etc."
The situation I awoke to on Saturday night seemed worse. HOW did this happen? In Knoxville! I've been on anti-seizure medication for five years.
The first seizure, five years ago? I had an inkling of where I was, had been. This one? I was terrified! So surreal, knowing I was in an ambulance far from home, wondering how? But how could this be me? I cannot put to words or paper the horrible, horrible confusion I felt trying to process in my mind what was happening and that it was happening to me. I wasn't watching some movie about someone else.
The ER was great at Tennova. Very attentive and one nurse quickly realized the reason I fought silently against the blood pressure cuff was that I was a breast cancer survivor. Pretty obvious to her as another nurse was taking my shirt off to exchange for a hospital gown.
She quickly asked which side my cancer had been? (My horribly disfigured, ugly chest leaves to question which side or both.) I told her the right and the RN asked me about lymph node removal. YES! From right arm, where the cancer had been.
The nurse, luckily began removing the cuff to move to my left arm where a lymph nodes safely remain. She also made sure the IV was placed in my left arm.
The younger nurse asked why and the RN explained breast cancer, lymph node removal and lymphedema - every survivor's worst nightmare. What a great training experience for the younger nurse! I've had a similar situations with blood pressure cuffs and needle sticks, including one of my surgeries last year. I am very quickly protective of my right arm and explain why. Nothing like on the job training for nurses. I truly am happy to have assisted in hopefully a few people in the medical field's awareness of breast cancer patients, lymph nodes and lymphedema. I doubt that type of situation arises often in an ER.
The only bad-I wasn't fond of the doctor. At all.
Questions ring so deep about what happened. The last thing I remember is sitting at the red light looking at Wasabi while thinking I wish a friend and I could have met for dinner.
I must have went into the seizure at that point. I don't remember my car going across five lanes of traffic to hit a car on the other side. I would love to see a video. How on earth did that happen with minimal damage to my car and the car I hit? How did no one hit me as my car went through five lanes of traffic. I would also like to know how long the seizure lasted, amount of time I was unresponsive to stimuli, etc.
All I know is my guardian angel was on overtime to protect me on a busy Saturday night at 8 pm at the major red light in Turkey Creek-Lovell Rd cross.
All I also know is this post is a disjointed, rambling mess so I'll stop now. Perhaps I'll return later to re-write.....
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Grand Dog
Grandbaby of our Diesel and Ada Monroe. Love. Wish we had a Diesel/Ada Monroe baby. They are both so old. Hard decisions are fast approaching. Decisions I don't think I can make.
What an adventure
What an adventure two of my friends and I had in North Carolina this weekend. We'd not been able to spend time together in several years. Several issues cropped up along our reunion.
I think the problems were on account of river running thru it....backward.
Blog later.
I think the problems were on account of river running thru it....backward.
Blog later.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Lots of Grief
Okay folks. I'm getting a lot of ribbing and grief over my fly fishing excursion. I want a do over! I swear I could make the whole weekend better and catch some trout. My nervousness is gone replaced with aggravation of letting fears get in the way of what the weekend should have been.....
Friday, April 17, 2015
Excited about Saturday
Last weekend was spent "Casting for Recovery". Saturday night is going to be spent with two friends from Knoxville who I rarely see. Two great weekends in a row. I won't know what I'll do with myself I'm so excited!
Now. To keep my vertigo, (which started yesterday) at bay....Geez my body hates me........
Now. To keep my vertigo, (which started yesterday) at bay....Geez my body hates me........
Baby Doll
My niece Jessie sent this text. Jack, her four year old (my great nephew)."
Jack was holding this baby and said "look, this looks like Chris!" I said who??? And he said "Chris, that lives at marny's house"! Hahaha!!!
Jack was holding this baby and said "look, this looks like Chris!" I said who??? And he said "Chris, that lives at marny's house"! Hahaha!!!
Kinda does.....
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Poison Ivy on my Face
Eek. The poison ivy has decided to invade my cheek. Oh well. It has to heal at some point. Right? Where's the bleach....
First game 2015 Stanley Cup Series
Tragically disappointed. Nashville Predators lost the first game of the first round of the 2015 Stanley Cup playoffs against the Chicago Blackhawks.
Wednesday, April 15, 2015
Poor Mallie
One of my favorite recent photos of my nephew Tanner and my great niece Mallie Belle. My sister, her husband Greg, and Tanner, Jack and Mallie were hiking this week. Lynette snapped this picture of what she said was one of Mallie's "emotional" meltdowns of the morning. Her Uncle Tanner was trying to comfort her. Bless......
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Spinner Bait
While eating tonight I shared stories about "Casting for Recovery" and my not so great job of learning to fly fish with two of my great nieces.
As I showed a picture of my first catch to Chelsea she said, "Marna. That looks like spinner bait." Thanks Chels....
As I showed a picture of my first catch to Chelsea she said, "Marna. That looks like spinner bait." Thanks Chels....
Yoga Tragedy
I began yoga with my niece and great nieces a couple weeks ago after a friend asked us to join. Tonight we had around 8 other friends go to class with us.
After class my two great nieces and I ate Mexi-Wing. We are yoga tragedies....
Fly fishing = poison ivy
Eek! Poison ivy. I'll try scrubbing with bleach but it's to the doctor for a steroid shot I'd say.....
Monday, April 13, 2015
Oh No! Flies for fishing!!!
Oh no! I feel really bad! I realized as unpacking I totally had forgotten our box of free fly bait thingies in our borrowed waders for "Casting for Recovery"! I'd say I was supposed to use those on the river!!! My poor guide. I wasted his flies........
Fly fishing....
Fly fisherman I did not make. While it was very much fun learning, I was terrible, as I feared I would be. Ponds and lakes present enough problems for me when fishing. My lures seem to find any and every tree around. Including sticks and stumps underneath the water. Chris always regrets the times I talk him into letting me try an expensive lure. They never last long. (I prefer white rubber grub worms, real earthworms and corn anyways. But hate the float Chris wants me to use!)
The first day we arrived at "Casting for Recovery" we tried on waders and boots which we had pre-ordered. In my thinking we would be fly fishing on a wide, open aired river, and actually be standing in the river, (think Brad Pitt). So imagine the sinking in my stomach when we arrived at the river on Sunday to learn to fly fish. I had imagined a big, wide river (like Tellico River) with plenty of room to avoid trees and shrubs. What I saw? Citico Creek.
The positive of the situation came to mind at the same time as the sinking sensation. I'd not have to get in the water! All the worry the week before about tripping over a rock and falling down in the water, having my waders fill with water and drowning were gone. During the previous week of ramblings of fear of drowning after ordering the size of waders, Chris said I couldn't fall in the water. "Marna, you'll already be in the water. You can't fall in." So here I was! I wouldn't be in the water and thus I couldn't fall down in the water having my waders fill with water and drown. But then it hit......we'd be standing on the bank. So although I couldn't fall down in the water, I could fall "in" the river.
So out of the vehicle we climbed like a pack of lambs to slaughter. (Well, I'm sure I'm the only to feel that way.) Luckily I heard "Marna" as everyone was milling about. (Well, only I was about to be milling around. Everyone else was excited.) I suppose the guides had been matched to each lady before we arrived? Another relief. Geez I was dreading being picked last. Like in Red Rover as a child.
Brad was very nice but I barely remember much about getting to our spot on the river. (Though I remember it was #8.) I had too much pent up adrenaline for the situation to think clearly. Early on during this fishing trip I experienced my one close call to pitching face first into the river. I'm not sure if my guide caught what happened. However I quickly blamed my too large boots as I mumbled about almost falling. Oh the embarrassment had I gone in!
Fly fishing is not easy. I had no pre-conceived notion it would be. But it was much more difficult on the actual water than in the yard of the resort practicing the day before. During our class the lady teaching came and told me I had a great cast. As she walked away I immediately began to fail. Pretty soon another woman came over and put a pink rubber bracelet around my right wrist connecting me the pole. To "keep my wrist straight". I don't recall returning to my earlier glory. Why do I do that? Seems I do much better on my own. I can take criticism. In fact I look for constructive criticism. But once I receive a compliment, bam, the good is over. Perhaps I feel I cannot live up to what I just accomplished? I don't know. That's a whole other blog post......
Add two weeks and the day of being nervous about: "drowning" in public in water with waders; inability to keep a bass/bluegill lures out of trees; dread of finding the right guide; fear of disappointing the right guide; fear of falling off a ledge onto my face; not being able to keep my wrist straight and therefore faltering in my skill in practice thus doubting my ability; learning that tying flies is hard, an art, time consuming and probably expensive and I was about to lose a guide's pride and glory; knowing that trout are more delicate than bluegill, bass or catfish and that I usually (accidentally) either ripped the mouth off a fish on the lake or let it swallow the lure.............. it wasn't surprising I couldn't keep my mind on task: catching fish, having fun and not worrying about catching trees and bushes or myself for that matter.
What a mess it was. Line everywhere-in trees, around the pole....around me. The first fish I managed to have a bite on? I yanked the bait right out of it's mouth. The rest? Too timid to try. Though the first I brought onto the bank was a tiny thing. The size of a bait fish. I've the impression you're not supposed to say that about trout. Trout fishing seems to be it's own world, quite different than bass pond and lake fishing. Trout is not bait to trout.
At one point I almost hooked myself. Something I have NEVER, ever done in my life. I didn't even realize the hook was in the back of my shirt sleeve. The guide told me to hold on a minute then started going to work to free my sleeve. He was going about it very slow. I'm not sure if he was afraid of ripping the fabric of my shirt or my flesh. I was about to tell him just to yank it out whether it was in my arm or not. I've experienced more pain that a little trout hook could cause and didn't want him to worry about it. Around the moment I was about to speak he said he had the hook out and it didn't leave a hole.
One trout I managed to hold for a photo? I dropped. Twice. Oh the horror! Just another thing I'd feared but that fear had came to life. I dropped a fragile trout! In public. With strangers. Crap. I dropped lake fish almost every time I caught them but this was a different situation. One reason I drop fish at home is because I make Chris take the hook out but I want to throw it back. Fish are slippery when passed back and forth. (I can put a live worm on a hook but can't stand to take a hook out of a fish. Strange I know.)
All in all I loved that I tried a weekend of something which took me out of my comfort zone. There were so many things about the weekend that did that! In fact all the things in those three days made me uncomfortable-as I had know it would. So it's surprising I signed up for two years, was disappointed I wasn't chosen either, then was thrilled I was accepted as an alternate.
I think the main reason I wanted to experience the weekend had to do with my Daddy. I remember as a child Daddy would never hunt or fish. I remember my brother loved to fish. I remember that several years after my brother died in 1979 my Daddy started fishing. Maybe Daddy felt close to Gary doing something Gary loved. Perhaps I wanted to feel close to my Daddy doing something he had learned to love.
Daddy, a very quiet man with family, was outgoing with his friends. A few years after he began fishing he started tagging along with our neighbors who were dedicated trout fishermen. Every Saturday they'd head to Citico Creek around 4 in the morning to fish the best holes. I used to ask Daddy every Saturday afternoon how many trout he caught. For years Daddy would say a couple. When I was grown and Momma had died I didn't ask Daddy that question very often. The longer time went on his fishing pride grew. Daddy never caught a couple anymore. He caught his limit.
| My "bait" trout. |
| Better??? Think I caught two-officially? |
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| My guide. |
(Hi Patty. Can't wait to you read this one and compare to my New York Rangers game adventure and how you made fun of the script which ran through my mind during that three hour long disaster. Lunch soon!)
Class on tying flies (for fly fishing)
Had quite a bit of fun learning to tie flies (I believe that's what it's called) at "Casting for Recovery". However I just couldn't learn the knotting. Basically I picked the feathers and wrapped the wire.
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| Finished Product! |
Some examples shown during class. Pretty neat!
No real bugs were used in our class. Just discussed.
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