Struggle

Tonight it was my 130 pounds vs a 200 pound stuck grain cart.  Luckily for the hungry horses I won.  One causality: the muscle in the back of my shoulder.   Times like this remind me I cannot do things like I used to.  Discouraging....

Transformers

I learned two things while watching "Transformers". 

Number 1:  Why the dinosaurs became extinct. 

Number 2:  I still love Marky Mark and since the Funky Bunch wasn't in the movie they must be the ones who have taken off with my post hole diggers.

Crepe Myrtle

Planted two crepe myrtle trees beside my tiny ones from last year.  I love the color of my little ones.  I hope the two larger are pretty.  I have no idea.  I also have no idea if they'll live.  I've never planted trees.  We'll see...

Love this. So true...

Howard Baker

Good article about Howard Baker who died today:
Howard Baker

Howard Baker vs Katy Perry

While it's cool that Katy Perry visited Dollywood in our backdoor in East Tennessee,  it saddens me that more people know about or are more interested in that than about Howard Baker's death today.

The Beach. Can you ever have too much?

Absolutely a most gorgeous day for a trip to The Beach for a burger and fries by the river in Tellico Plains.  We even had Mayfield's ice cream cones after lunch.  I usually skip the ice cream because of an overly full tummy of my favorite meal.  But today was just too beautiful to skip desert.

Haven't ever been to The Beach?  You MUST go try.  And while up at the river drive on to visit Bald River Falls.  What a great day trip. Eat a burger.  Drive to the Falls.  Then have some ice cream on the way home.

 And it's local! Even better! 

Audrey....

She's the reason I love turtlenecks...

Admire true beauty...

And why I want to be a better person...

Ugh....latest food addiction. ...at least it's healthy!

Not leaving house during...

Chuy's

Bella and I had Chuy's after our mall shopping.  Other than the great chips and dip we wasted calories.

Sorry Girls...

My great niece Bella and I were in the mall tonight going through the great things on sale at The Gap.  I fell in love with a blouse.  As I was trying on a blue....and a white one, Bella said, "Marna.  Amber and Jessie are going to kill you if you get both!"

Oh....well......I'll take my chances....

Revenge? Epic fail...

Well, my wonderful great niece Chelsea decided to have revenge on me after the hole punch incident a couple weeks ago.  I had bought six hostas plants and left them at the end of our driveway on our bank.  Chelsea stole two.

The reason the gag was an epic fail?  Reason #1: I didn't know they were missing as I hadn't tried to plant.  Reason #2:  I only found out they were missing when Chelsea's sister Bella brought them home to me.  Seems Chelsea was told she'd have to take care of the plants until I figured out they were gone.  She wasn't THAT dedicated to her poorly thought out plan.

Flo isn't dead!!!! Whew!

Minefield

"The bad news is we're standing in a minefield.  The good news is we're almost out of it."

Rub it in...

My nephew went to Dollywood without me today. He sent a picture riding our favorite ride-Dizzy Disc. I bet he didn't have as much fun as we had together last week.  Well....hope he at least missed me.

Project for Thanksgiving?

It's hot but a farmer's work is never done....

It's always a good Sunday when it's spent with a niece. ..

Friends

Love my friends.   Dinner with Stacy my best friend in high school.  Enjoyed a great meal at Chili's in Maryville and great talk to, during, and from.  Love her so much.

Forgot the selfie.......

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day.   My sisters and I miss ours very much.  He was extraordinary.   

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.

Second OT

It's midnight and we are going to second overtime of the Rangers - Kings Stanley Cup finals game.

Rangers score then we have another game on Monday.  Kings win they have a Cup.

Wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.   I'm going to be exhausted from stress of couch coaching.

Dream come true.  May 2013 NYC trip.  Amazingly ended up at the game with a front row ticket!  What a memorable dream come true it was!  Read about my New York Rangers game at: 

Would Only Happen to Me

Nervous Wreck

Beginning of maybe the end of this year's Stanley Cup playoffs with New York Rangers and the LA Kings.

I'm a nervous wreck. I'm afraid the New York Rangers quest for a Stanley Cup since 1994 will come to a sad end.

The one good thing. The LA Kings are my third favorite hockey team. So I won't feel as bad about them winning as I would if it was the most hated Chicago Blackhawks.

Let's go Rangers!!!  Not ready for the season to end. It will be a long summer with no hockey to watch....

Family Time

All of us together for supper at my sister's.   I taught my niece some soccer moves.  I think the super star's game will be much improved for her next game.

Want!!!

My friend doesn't officially have his Jeep for sale but would sell it to me if I wanted. I must say I absolutely love it. The Jeep has everything I want. If I were going to buy one this is perfect because no additions need to be made. It's good to go as soon as I buy it.

My brother died in a jeep accident in 1979 when he was 27.  I was 7.  Mom and dad had Gary's Jeep repaired after the accident. The Jeep sat in our garage for many years. Daddy and I would get the Jeep out on Sunday afternoons and drive around Corntassel, Soak, and the lake.

The Jeep was promised to me when I became 16. That probably deep down bothered my mom and dad and the promise the Jeep to be mine would probably have never, ever been followed through with. 

When my nephew Jamey, who is the same age, turned 16 he had a job with no vehicle. Mom and dad allowed him to take the Jeep for his work car. With the understanding that when I turn 16 the Jeep would be mine. 

One night on the way home from work Jamey was hit by drunk driver. The Jeep was totally destroyed. The only thing that saved Jamey was his seat belt. Gary's accident the Jeep was fixable and didn't look really bad.  Had he had a seat belt on he would have probably been okay. 

I remember going to look at the Jeep after Jamey had the accident. Mom got physically ill. She probably had a flashback of Gary's death and that time and imagined what it would have been like had Jamey died. After I got a vehicle I got a small car than later a four wheel drive truck. I didn't try to get a Jeep. Mom and dad never said anything about not letting me have one but deep down I knew it wasn't right to ask.

Through the years I've wanted a Jeep perhaps to make me feel close to the memory of Gary. I don't know. But the older I get the more I want one. I do love them. Maybe the love came from watching Gary and his Jeep. Maybe the love came from driving around on Sunday afternoons spending time with my dad in Gary's jeep. 

We'll see if I get one someday.....I surely do like Tracey's.......

Snorkel

I almost drown snorkeling once.  A lady at work said "why doesn't that surprise me Marna".

Another one of those nights...

Its 2:30 am and my mind is spinning faster than the ceiling fan with thoughts and now a raccoon is outside my window.

                           Well.  At least the Rangers won....

Today at Dollywood

Good times with my nephew Colton at Dollywood!  (I forgot my Rangers play tonight in what could be a sweep for the Stanley Cup or I'd probably have shafted Colton.)

Breakfast.   Thought I'd splurge on some donuts since I'd be walking it off at Dollywood.   I did manage to only buy a two pack! 

Colton and I listened to Dolly all the way to the park. I lip sync  except when "9 to 5" and "He's Alive" played.  I whisper sang then.

When we got to Dollywood Colton said we'd park at Tram stop C.  I told him we should drive on up to see about closer spot.  Colton said "The tram is the first official ride at Dollywood. "

Colton wanted selfies at the main Dollywood signs.

Ugh backpack.  I would have never taken one but it was supposed to rain....

Waiting on a show.   I'd have been in trouble if I'd drank the whole thing!

My favorite at Dollywood. 

'Nuther selfie

More selfie...

Dollywood casualties.  I sent pictures to my sis-n-law and she said "bless it. Blisters".   I told her I fell. She texted back "over your own feet??"  I asked her, "yes, tripping over my own feet is more believable than blisters when it comes to me isn't it?"

Colton is like me when it comes to rides.  Soooo I like going with him to Dollywood.   We watch shows and ride a few rides.  We're on the same page as far as rides go.  Although he said he gets sick on the "Dizzy Disk".   I was going to ride by myself but Colton said he'd try.  We ended up riding three times!  By the third time we were quite "dizzy" and not thinking, walking or talking quite right and I badly mispronounced the name of the ride!

One thing we aren't on the same page about?  Water rides.  I hate them.   Colton absolutely loves them. 

He talked me into riding the River Rampage at the very end of day while promising I'd not get very wet. I told Colton I attract water.  If anyone on a ride gets wet it's always me.  In fact kids on the water rides give me the stink eye when the ride is over.  I'm wet. They're not.   

Well after probably, oh, at least ten years of no water rides i thought I'd give it a whirl.  Knowing I'd get wet.  But for a niece or nephew I'll give most things a try.   Tradition held strong-I was drenched....and at the end of the ride a little boy gave me the stink eye while saying "I didn't get wet at all".  Earlier in the day a little girl held her nose, jumped in a pond and I was still more wet than her! (Well not really.  She was more wet.  Well not really There was no little girl. But well, you get the picture,  right?)

Started raining after the water ride but just walked to the entrance.  We were already soaked!  This selfie is after we changed.  I had to peel my now three inch longer pants off.  They were stuck to me.

The umbrella I had gotten last week at the TN Trustee meeting came in quite handy after I had changed and was dry.  Now...if I can keep up with it. I have this thing about keeping up with umbrellas. It's true. 

We stopped in Pigeon Forge for supper.  Colton asked if I wanted to ride the giant ferris wheel.  I looked at him and rolled my eyes.  Um. No.  Why did he even ask? 

Biggest problem of the day is happening right now. I forgot the NYR are playing tonight in what could be a sweep for the Stanley Cup.  We watched some of the game while eating.  Before first period ended I told Colton we had to leave so I could get home to see most of game.  Well we are stuck in traffic in Knoxville.  I told him we should have driven through Maryville and Townsend.    

How could I have forgotten this was the big game night?!  I need therapy. 

Well.....at least I managed to finally get my Dollywood season pass today.  A gold one.  

Here we go...

Dollywood bound with one of the nephews.  I hope Dolly has issued a no rain policy today or else it's going to be a miserable.  But I love my nieces and nephews so it makes it worth it.

Who knows. Maybe Colton will let me shop for a minute at the outlets.  I hate shopping but to be an irritation to two of the nieces I'm going to find something, anything and buy two of it.  Maybe in the same color!  That would drive them over the bridge!!

I'll give a full report of our Dollywood escapades tonight.   I do LOVE Dollywood!

Tomorrow

I'm afraid I'm in for a miserable day tomorrow.  Dollywood with my nephew and his friend......in the rain.  But I'm a good sport and said I was going.  As long as I have a Dollywood dip dog everything will be just fine.

Mileage

Okay.  I know it may be a little bit weird but I love to keep up with my car mileage. Today I had almost 400 miles before filling up.  Corny I know.

weather

Weather in Nashville nasty to be driving in today.  I am ready to be home.

Nashville

My next appointment with Dr. Maxwell wasn't until the 16th.  The office called late yesterday to see if I could come Tuesday or Thursday.   Thursday was going to be a not so good day so here I sit.  My doctor's appointment is over and I don't have another until September 15!  Yea for me!

My mind is already racing about the next appointment.   I'll not sleep tonight.  What will happen in September?   I believe Dr. Maxwell is determined I have a good, positive outcome. Is being alive enough of a good, positive outlook.

Chris will be adamantly against any more surgery. December and January's surgeries about did us both in. (Hey. There's another Southern Slang phrase-did us in.)  I'd say many of my friends and family will feel the same.

I've never been a worrier. The past seven  months have made me worry and fret. Worry and fret over my family and friends and what my illness and subsequent problems has done to them.  Put them through!

But.....but.  What do I want?  How will I know what I want? When will I know what I want?  Will what I want be right?  Who will help me know what I want especially since those so close to me have strong feelings for or against or others who give well meaning answer of "your beautiful no matter if you have breasts or not."? How will I comfort those I love with whatever decision I make should it be one which upsets them?

Yes. No sleep tonight....

Freak Show

Back in the 70's and 80's a traveling circus stopped in Monroe County.   Mom and Dad would usually take me and my nephew Jamey, who is my age.

One of my most vivid memories involved the "freak show".  I was probably between ages 4 and 6. Momma and I were walking by and I was looking at the hideous cartoon posters strapped on the side of the dirty trailer.  While peeking around one of the windows my mother said as she led me away, "Marna.  We aren't going in there.  It's not right to stare at or make fun of others."

Being a curious little girl I peeked once more over my shoulder as we walked quickly away.   I saw some of the "freaks" walking around behind a drape.  They didn't scare me but rather stirred a pity deep within.

A sadness still exists in me when confronted with situations resembling that night.  A deep resonating voice rises to remind me there are less fortunate than I.  A memory of a voice which taught me so very much about life and people and respect.

As I grow older, and harder, I sometimes wish I had that voice here, in flesh, to teach me new life lessons. The "freaks" in my life have changed from those people in childhood to something totally different throughout adulthood.

New advice is heard from others during the few times I try to open up and share, however, it's not the same guidance of youth from a great lady.  Her guidance was worth ten fold of anything a self help book or even friends try to provide.  Sooo...I usually don't seek help.  Figuring things out on your own while seeking help from above, is a better idea than to receive unwise council.

None can compare to my mother's guidance.  A mother's guidance which is needed more and more as years go by to deal with the, I call them freakish situations,  that crop up.

Risk Factors

During my six month oncology appointment Dr. Charles once again drilled things I should do and should not do to reduce risk of reoccurring breast cancer.  (Who would've thought after having breasts removed you'd have to worry about breast cancer ever again?  Strange huh?)

Here are a few of the things Dr. Charles always emphasizes every visit:

The most proven common denominator in risk of developing breast cancer or have it reoccurring is drinking alcohol.   So while drinking a glass of red wine every night may be good for your heart Dr. Charles said that is a no-no for me.  No drinking! Keeping risk of secondary cancer low is more important than my heart at this point I guess. Funny.

Vitamin D needs to stay around 30.  Mine has fallen to 21 which is much better than the 15 it was last year. So back on the 50,000 iu per week for three months.  Vitamin D very, very important in trying to keep cancers away.  I've several blog posts on that topic.  If you type Vitamin D in search box for this blog it will pull up those links if you're interested. Those posts contain links to some great research articles.

Exercise is helpful in reducing risk for cancer coming back.  Hmmm...I gotta get motivated! Maybe Dr. Charles needs to write me a prescription....

Healthy diet.  Hmmm...I gotta get motivated! Maybe he should write me a prescription for that as well....

Genetics only account for less than 10% of all breast cancer.  Good to know.  I'm negative for genetic.  But never worried about genetics anyway for many reasons.

New research is showing taking Tamoxifen for ten years instead of five much more decreases risk of redevelopment of cancer returning.   Final report from research out next year which is my fifth and final year of the pill.  Dr. Charles is going to be very insistent on my continuing Tamoxifen for another five.  I told him MAYBE the research will be wrong.   He smiled and said we would revisit this next year. I love, love, love Dr. Charles. He doesn't always "get" my sense of humor but I always "get" what he is saying.


I'll add more later.... I'm tired and may actually get some sleep tonight.

Cutest Picture Ever

Well.  It's actually one of many cutest pictures ever of my nieces and nephews.  In this photo my nephew Tanner is playing with his new IPhone.   Tanner's niece, my great niece,  Mallie Belle is wanting to lend some advice.

Because it's the Cup....

Because it's the Cup I've decided to NOT watch Game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals.  I'm hoping that will change the momentum of series and pull the Rangers through to a victory.

No couch coaching tonight....

Collection of Words to Live By

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason they didn't make it into your future. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. A sharp tongue will cut my own throat. If I want my dreams to come true, I must'n oversleep. Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important. The best vitamin for making friends....B1. The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts. The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge. One thing I can give and still keep...is my word. I lie the loudest when I lie to myself. If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. One thing I can't recycle is wasted time. Ideas won't work unless "I" do. My mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open. The ten commandments are not multiple choice. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I might have been. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the one's who don't. Believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and is controlled by God. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. Friends are like balloons, once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and what's wrong. There are two sides to every story.  Sometimes we just don't realize what real friendship means until it is too late. In order to keep mistakes and wrongs from happening again, remember the past but don't let it consume your future. Don't waste your life wallowing in the past, or dream of a future that may never be, but live today.

Turn Down for What

I laugh my head off every time I watch this video!!!

Southern Speak

More Southern Speak.  I keep writing down when I hear others say the phrases or when I actually say this stuff-or text to someone.  It's kinda scary how much I use Southern Slang in my everyday life!

• Piddle/piddling = killing time, wasting time, unproductive
• Family coming in = your family is visiting from who do not live locally
• Lands sakes alive! = exclamation
• Holy Moly! = exclamation
• Geez Louise = exclamation
• Country belief = When it's raining and the cows run for the trees for shelter the rain isn't going to last long.  If the cows continue eating or laying down in the field the rain is here to stay for a few hours.
• Take it = Guess.  "I take it we aren't going to go to the movies."
• Fiddle/fiddling = killing time, wasting time, unproductive
• Hob Knob = mingle with people of influence
• High flu-looting = people who think they are better than others
• I'm so hungry I could eat a sow and run a boar ten miles = hungry
• Hey honey buns = a greeting to a woman
• Doozy = big lie, big anything
• I'm as poor as Job's turkey = poor
• Quiet as a church mouse = someone who is shy, being quiet (I am often called this)
• Stick in the mud = no fun (I've been called that too.  Hopefully in a joking way!)
• I grew up there = church or community where you were raised
• Real go getter = hard worker
• Quit your nagging = stop complaining 
• Nag = complain
• Don't harp on me = stop complaining
• Loafing = killing time, wasting time, unproductive
• Out of it = asleep, drunk, crazy
• Great day in the morning = exclamation
• Plum give out = exhausted
• Don't need to rush off = stay a while
• Spitting snow = barely snowing
• Drizzling rain = barely raining
• Pouring rain = raining hard
• Really coming down = raining hard or snowing hard
• Neck of the woods = where you live
• Clean up = shower, getting ready to go someone
• You're welcome to it = you can have it
• Someone asks: How did you manage that?  The person replies: it wudn't easy.
• How on earth did that happen? = questioning exclamation
• Quite a few = a lot
• Y'all = you guys
• Don't be a stranger now = keep in touch, come see me again, visit
• Y'all come back now ya hear = visit
• Let me speak at her = let me speak to her
• Can't handle it = stressed out
• Don't let the screen door shut on you on the way out = get out
• Figured = thought
• Old fart = don't do nothing you tell him, his way or no way at all
• My way or the highway or your way or the highway = do it the way I want 
• Tan your hide = spank, discipline
• Dufus or dufus head = derogatory comment about someone
• Yes Sir E Bob = yes or agree
• No Sir E Bob = no or disagree
• Fussing = arguing
• Wore smack dab out = very tired, exhausted
• I'm so hungry my stomach is touching my backbone! = hungry
• Starving to death = hungry
• I'm so hungry I could eat my right arm off = hungry
• Wore to a frazzle = tired, exhausted 
• Wind is blowing leaves inside out on trees means there is rain on its way
• Turtle back in his shell

Attitude of Gratitude

I need to wake up with....

Clothes

I had only planned to tag along with my niece and nephew today on their shopping trip to Elliott's and Old Navy in Maryville.   I resisted buying anything at Elliott's,  however,  at Old Navy I found a blouse.  In three great colors!   Amber immediately said NO! Choose one color!  I told her that I loved all three. Amber text my other niece Jessie (who in the past said I could not shop without her.)

Jessie sent a message to Amber and told her to make me put one of the two back.  Amber replied that there were three.   The middle blue blended in. Jessie sent another message telling Amber to get two and only let me keep one.  Now.

I....ended up with all three.  Jessie wasn't there to forcibly take them away.   However I did allow Amber to pick two scarves.  That'll mix things up a bit.  Along with the pants I have.  (Same style pant. Different colors. We'll not let Jessie know.)

Amber then talked me into trying on an outfit that which was out of my comfort zone.  Yuck.  There are some pants that do not go with 42 year old knees!  I think Amber realized and agreed when I walked out of the dressing room.  All I was thinking was "where is the Loft"! 

I hate pink so I should have put that one back in order to appease the nieces.

Amber's joke outfit.   Kinda cute for a young girl.