There once was a woman....

This was on the wall of the 2nd waiting room before radiation.   Love it so much.

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she only had three hairs on her head. “Well”, she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today.” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. “Hmmm”, she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.” So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. “Well”, she said, “Today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.” So she did, and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head. “YAY!” she exclaimed. 

“I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Anonymous

Words To Live By

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it into your future. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. A sharp tongue can cut my own throat. If I want my dreams to come true, I mustn't oversleep. Of all the things I wear, my expression is the most important. The best vitamin for making friends….B1. The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts. The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge. One thing I can give and still keep….is my word. I lie the loudest when I lie to myself. If I lack the courage to start, I have already finished. One thing I can't recycle is wasted time. Ideas won't work unless "I" do. My mind is like a parachute….it functions only when open. The 10 Commandments are not multiple choice. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! It is never too late to become what I might have been. Life it too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the one's who don't. Believe EVERYTHING happens for a reason and is controlled by God. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes you life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would by worth it. Friends are like balloons, once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Sometimes we are so caught up in who's right and who's wrong that we forget what's right and what's wrong. Sometimes we just don't want to realize what real friendship means until it is too late. Don't live in the past or the future but live today. In order to keep from mistakes and wrongs from happening again, remember the past but don't let it consume your future. 

Do You See Him Through Me?

Do you see Him through me? It's a question I have asked myself for many years. My deepest hope is thru my life others will come to Christ. Many trials and tribulations have come into my life. Each of a different origin. Each a different thing. Sometimes emotional, sometimes physical, some brought on by myself. During each I try to meet with faith that God knows where I am and has a plan for what is going on in my life. I am not perfect, don't claim to be, will never be. I've been bad in my relationships with my family and friends. Done many things wrong to family and friends. But luckily most have been able to move beyond and forgive me for those wrongs.

In my weak times I begin to wonder if I am an especially bad person whom God needs to discipline to keep my eye on the prize. I can be full of pride, jealousy, greedy, gluttonous, hateful, spiteful, lazy, apathetic at times, hateful, moody. So many things that many people struggle with as well. I'm a child of God. God, as a parent, must discipline His children when they do wrong. Just as parents must discipline their own children. 

I don't want it to seem that I believe that God is a God with an iron hand just waiting to thwack anyone who gets out of line. It isn't like that. God loves us. He wants us to make good choices, go down the right roads. Sometimes when we sin God will put us back in line. Just as a good parent must do with their own children.

And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. Luke 22:31. Sometimes this is what I wonder about-does satan wish to sift me as wheat?

The thing I've desired more than anything in my life, since I was a small child was to be used to Glorify God. For Him to use me in a way or ways to show Himself thru me. I've had many, many, many, many trials of everything you could imagine. I feel I've done an okay with my faith. Not so good at allowing those trials to be shared.

For years I've ask God to use me in a way that many could see Him thru me. Ever heard the song 'Jesus Bring The Rain". I've had some of things happen on small scales. I've had some on big scales. I've prayed to God for something to happen that would be big scale for witnessing and showing His life in me. That I am nothing without Him. Now I have breast cancer. Wow, this could be something God will use. I know he will if I will let Him. If I stay strong, keep the faith, look for the good in the situation. And there is much good in this situation. Do you see Him thru me? Don't see me. See Him. 

This is a big opportunity, my breast cancer, to show others the great things God has done for me. I have failed, utterly failed if people do not see Him thru me and get curious about why I love my Lord. I have a relationship with him. My biggest hope when I die is to walk before Him, or crawl, or fall down before Him or whatever I'll do because I'll have no idea what I would do. And to hear Him saw "Well done my good and faithful servant." Oh, how I hope to hear that!!!!!!

I would not change one thing in my life. Even the trials and bad that has fallen my way. My experiences are who make me Marna. And my reactions to all those trials give me the opportunity to let His light shine.

This Journey

This journey has made me reflect on the value of time and family and friends. And reminds me of the many Blessings from each that God has placed in my life. This note isn't going to ebb and flow-it's just a simple thought and thanks.

My husband amazes me. He asks the doctors such good, really good questions. Things I would never think to ask. I've looked over at him shocked in many of the meetings with doctors. Just thinking, wow, how did he think to ask that? And the look in his eye today at in the office when the bandages came off....... I had no doubts when I looked into his....I didn't even need to look down as the doctor cut away.........I'm so proud I have him to take care of me. 

My sister Lynette. How would have I made it thus far in life without her? No one will ever know all that she has done for me since our mom died. I was only 18. She lost mom too. Net never looked back as she took over my care. From graduation gowns to wedding dresses to this journey......

Sharon, my oldest sister. The leader. She make sure things are in order. What would have I done without that bed she insisted I have this week?

God blessed me in my sister in law and mother in law and all the Hull's. Mama Hull reminds me much of my mom in her Christian walk. Although I had only dated Chris for about four months when mama died she took right over after that mother's day 1990. I had my own precious, precious mama for 18 years. I've had Chris's mom for 20 now. I know not all are lucky enough to have those loving relationships--with their own mama and much less a mother in law.

Bridget, Chris's sister, walks with me daily. She is my eager ear. No one had better mess with me when Bridget is around. She is my lioness, ever knowing just when to step in. Even when I am not aware.

Net is my right arm, Bridget is my left. 

Who else? My nieces. What fun they are. All so different. All bring something different to the table. All make me feel like I can let my sarcastic humor fly and give it right back in such a loving way. 


Tanner, a special nephew with too many things to be grateful for in my relationship with him to even begin to write down.  That'll be another blog.
Jamey and Jennifer. Jamey, he may be my nephew by blood but he is truly my brother in heart. And for him to have married Jennifer??!!! My BFF all through school?? God had a sense of humor and a plan to never part Jennifer and I. 

My friends.....so many. Old and new. 

Old who are always there. Even if I haven't talked to them in five years. They drop it all to come. Come and bring me Olive Garden, food, popcorn, water. Clean my house. Wash my clothes.

New ones, who listen on text messaging and face book and bring me games and PJs...and of course water, propel and popcorn. 

My Lord and Savior who even in my flesh moments reminds me that day by day He will see me through. His timing is ever perfect. I have seen it so. He reminds me to take things day by day. Days always change. Tomorrow might be better than today. The next might be worse than yesterday. Things always will change. But He will always, always be there. There is the peace. The peace that came a minute after the first shower. 

This feels like a academy award speech......there is no way to mention everything and everyone knows how awful those speeches really are! But I can only say, once again, God has richly, richly blessed me beyond what I deserve. 

This could be like my "I Believe" notes. There is so much I've left off......But then that is the start. This journey is just another chapter for my book! The book where you will read more about that first shower. 

Now, who will be my ghostwriter??? There is much to tell. And much to give thanks for. 

Thank you and I love you all. I feel your prayers.
Marna

I prefer sneakers to high heels, turtlenecks to tank tops. I like my bras to pull me in not push me up. Pizza isn't at the top of my food choice but love Bert's buffalo chicken. Jeans over khakys and dry cleaning over ironing. Cheeseburger and fries are my favorite food and I was always a cheap date--I don't like steak. I would rather wash dishes in the sink than in the dishwasher. Showers are better for me than a bath. Although a soak is nice from time to time. My preference would be to keep the barn clean over keeping the house clean. I would rather kill mice with poison than a trap. I believe in faith in Truth rather than science. Letting someone else make decisions is easier than picking things for myself. History novels and Expository Christian books to romance novels. Praying over hoping, ignorance instead of the cold hard truth. Talks with individuals over parties with many. Sitting on the side line cheering, not performing. Boxing over football, ice hockey over basket ball. NFL football over college ball. Helping others rather than pitying them. Keeping arguments in a relationship private rather than airing to friends. Working hard rather than cheating. Selflessness over pride......

.......the last is a hard preference to live up too. Or is the proper word to?

M&M Analogy

Down the hall and around the corner several times a day temptation at the M&M machine awaits. Glancing at the machine I think how great those M&Ms would taste. In the beginning and many days even now I overcome the temptation. I tell myself that M&Ms are bad for my hips. The thousands of germs on the machine put my health at risk as well. However, day after day the ill effects have not happened......no flu or cold, not much weight gain.

More than the taste of M&Ms compels me to use a quarter. The drive and the excitement come from the thrill of seeing how many M&Ms I will get each time, hoping for the magic number 9. This is my "scientific experiment". My excuse. 

In the beginning I only glanced at the machine as I walked down the hallway. Then a longer look. Then longer. Pretty soon that looking gave way to getting. Now, no matter where I go, when I see an M&M machine the excitement wells up within. The thrill of continuing my quest for nine M&Ms.

I think of the M&M machine is an analogy of the sin and evil which pervades our lives and those around us. Sin and temptation begin with a look. Then a taste. Just to see what it’s like. Then a lie to yourself that this will be a one time thing. Then maybe nothing bad happens the first time, the second time, the hundredth time. However, gratification becomes harder to find. More extreme measures are taken to achieve the first few “highs”. The high of cheating on your spouse, abusing drugs or alcohol, domestic violence, cheating on a test, telling a lie, betraying a friend, telling a secret, sexual sins. Whatever the sin, Satan tries to trap us with one sin. If that doesn’t work he’ll try something else. Satan will pull us as deep in as we’ll go.

Evil searches for us. We must use the brain God blessed us with to realize and remember to run from temptation and keep ourselves from evil. Life is not about getting what we want and what feels good to us. Always remembering how our decisions and behavior affects those around us, from those we supposedly love to the stranger on the street should be our goal. Realizing those choices affect life not only here but in the ever after.

Fresh Sheets

Memories. Funny how they crop up at unexpected times. While putting fresh sheets on this evening I suddenly remembered being young and momma flipping the sheets "just right". So right they covered the bed instantly in one flip. I absolutely loved jumping under that perfect flip! Much to momma's dismay.

Purple Martins

Purple Martins. I grew up watching them fly around our yard & nesting in the gourds Daddy grew. Momma & Daddy loved sitting out in the yard and watching the birds every afternoon. Can it be true that momma has been gone almost 20 years & Daddy a year? The purple martins always fly around the tractor as I bush hog, eating the bugs that fly up. I smile. Maybe the memories of purple martins is partly why I love to bushhog....

Skeeter

Watched the new movie "Marley and Me" after church this afternoon. We got there about 15 minutes before it started but the theater was already almost full. We had to sit in the third row. I always hate sitting that close as it's hard to see the screen well at that angle. The movie was one of the better movies I have seen in a while. I highly suggest seeing it. I am not a big Owen Wlison fan but he was great in this movie. I did ball my eyes out. For a dog lover such as myself it was so emotional at the end. Even if you don't like dogs the movie is so well done it will move you.

Having lost several dogs through the years I could just feel what the owners went through. Especially remembering the best dog I have ever owned. Skeeter. He was one of about 7 Australian Shepherds I have owned in my life. He was the best. A red tri with one ear that stuck straight up in the air. I tried everything in my power to get that ear to lay down like it should but nothing worked.

My oldest sister has raised and shown Aussies since the year I was born-1971. She gave me Skeeter when I was in high school in 1987 or 1988. I didn't have a dog at that time and needed one. I don't think I could live without one. Sharon probably couldn't sell Skeeter because of his ear thus a perfect gift to little sister. I won though. Skeeter was the coolest dog and became my best friend.

In his younger years he loved herding my neighbors dairy cattle--much to their chargin and mine. His dam had been a champion herding dog in Georgia and Skeeter inherited his mama's instincts. Skeeter was fairly talented-he was good at getting the cattle round up but didn't know what to do with them. He ended up with a pretty bad broken front leg after one herding attempt. Think that broke him thank goodness. 

My bedroom was in the basement of the house I grew up in. Skeeter would stay in my bedroom every night until I went to sleep. Then he would sneak off my bed and upstairs to sleep at the foot of my mother's bed. When Mom died in 1990 Skeeter kept doing that for a while. Until he finally realized she wouldn't be back. He then slept with me all night.

Aussies are one family dogs and Skeeter was quite protective of me. Chris and I started dating in 1990. Skeeter was about 2 years old or so. Chris and I could not wrestle or play. Skeeter would get aggressive toward Chris. Skeeter knew if I was home alone and he also hated the sound of big trucks. He would chase them every day. Two of my friends drove big trucks, Robbie and Bob. Every time they would come to my house to visit Skeeter would put them back in the truck until I came outside. One day Bob was driving by my house and Skeeter ran out to chase him. Before Bob could see him he ran flat over Skeeter. He was in rough shape--the dog and Bob. The vet, Dr. Kefauver, did not think Skeeter would make it through the night. His head was the size of a basketball. I remember going to see him at the vet clinic. He was laying in the kennel crate and perked up when I came in. Skeeter had dried caked blood all over. I cried and cried. But the next day he was on the road to recovery.

Skeeter was about 15/16 years old when he died. Very old for an Aussie. He had been having some heart and hip trouble for a couple years but I just couldn't make the decision to put him down. I kept thinking "he'll let me know when it's time". One weekend in 2004 I was supposed to go to Sarasota, FL to show my mare in a cow horse show. For some reason I just didn't want to go. I was hauling my mare for a national title and leading so had a big incentive to go show. But just didn't feel like it. On Sunday afternoon Chris and I came home. Skeeter was laying in the front yard and couldn't move. He was in bad, bad shape. I knew it was time. Chris called the vet. He came out to our farm. I was sitting in the front yard holding Skeeter. Crying hysterically. The vet said some kind words and gave Skeeter the shot. It was a horrible, horrible day. I sat with him a good length of time after the vet left. I have always cried at the loss of a pet. But never like I did over my Skeeter. Chris buried him on the back of our farm after I was able to let go. I couldn't watch that part. I was just thankful to God that He had kept me from going to that horse show. If I had gone then Skeeter may have lain there for hours upon hours suffering alone with no relief. God knew I was needed at home that weekend.

You know, I never received a bill from the vet for the farm call nor the meds to put down Skeeter. The way I was crying he must have felt too sorry for me to bill me.


Love you and miss you Skeeter.......thanks for being my friend and companion all those years.

Karma

I have heard a lot of people talking about "karma" recently. Many of my friends seem to be having rough times lately and hope for karma. I have also read about karma on the Internet and in blogs--my favorite and in my opinion one of the best bloggers Amelia talked about the court case involving the young couple in Knoxville. She didn't blog about karma really but about the "injustice" of the justice system. 

I don't believe in karma. What goes around does not always come around. I have watched too many people slip through the crack of "karma". Pedophiles, rapist, batterers, murderers, etc. 

Our justice system, both nationally and locally, leaves much to be desired. The old saying, "You do the crime, you do the time" doesn't seem to ring true anymore. "You do the crime, you may do some time" seems more like it. I worked with victims of crime for many years and it's a very frustrating situation. Convincing victims, especially domestic violence victims or a victim of rape, to press charges, follow through with prosecution for what seems like months as the perp gets court put off again and again only to end up with a 6 month diversion on the charge, is a horrible experience. Especially when attorneys, and I at times, told her that the court would take care of her rights. I learned quickly not to make that promise! 

Maybe I am hearing more people talk about karma because things are really tough in the world right now-wars, economy, crime, drugs.....What gives me comfort is the fact that there will be justice. God's Justice. I know I will face it as well for the sins in my life. But so will they. Many times I want to have justice on my time and on my terms. But Justice will come. How depressing if that was not to be, to live life hoping for "karma" but not knowing if one would receive it or not? I live in knowledge of Justice. Knowing I will face it but not alone. I have The Blood to cover me.