Oh no! My oncologist!

I'm tragically upset.  My letter arrived.  The letter I'd heard the the grapevine was on its way. Dr. Charles, my Oncologist at Thompson Oncology Group, is transferring to University Cancer Specialist as of June 1.

I have an appointment with him Wednesday - my last to be ever.  I don't want to go.  How do I face the man I credit for saving my life one last time????  Who I would trust to save my life should there be a reoccurrence.  How do I learn to develop a relationship with a new doctor who hasn't been in the trenches with me?  I'll just be a patient who has tests twice a year and a 15 minute follow up.  And how do I even find that doctor?  The doctor who can never really KNOW me.  Who can never understand my corny jokes about "Hooters" and so many other silly things, though Dr
Charles never really laughed or liked them I suppose.  Dr. Charles would only say, "Ms. Marna" with a small smile.  My need to lighten the mood of such a depressing place was maybe at least understood by Dr. Charles.

I'm tragically sad.  Many may not understand.  But if you've faced a life and death battle with one doctor and then follow up for the years since, you'll know, you'll understand the fear that's gripping.....