The Bachelor....again

I'm watching "The Bachelor"?  Another season? I hate this show.  I believe I've watched four seasons. Maybe. Chris? Every.

I'm afraid I have rather grown to enjoy being catty like the girls on the show.  Especially the first episode with the limos.  (Which, by the way, I'd want my own limo.  Not share with others.)  I love the red carpet part and rolling my eyes and using my fashion sense to judge the women's dresses.  (Yeah. Right. I know. Like I know anything about that.)

After the first night the catty'ness is gone and the real Marna appears which says things like this when they go on dates:

"Oh no. I'd never do that", when they bungy jump.

"No. No. No. Not me", when they scuba dive.  When they add sharks to the mix?  "Ummm...no.  I don't have a death wish."

"Never. No way.  Nada.  I would die", while holding my breath as they climb the San Francisco bridge.

Jump from a helicopter into The Great Blue Hole in Belize.  "Never.  No way.  Nope.  That's nuts".

Swim through a dark tunnel on some island to hike over a cliff then repel to a hidden lagoon to swim under a waterfall?  "Yeah. Right. Don't think so."


To which Chris always replies, "Marna. You wouldn't be a very good contestant on The Bachelor."



I always think to myself when he says that: I know how to have fun.  I'd love to....

*Go on an African safari.   (But only if the guide has a gun to put an attacked animal out of it's misery. I'm used to having a remote control at home as I watch NATGeo.)

*Visit Alaska to sneak up on a grizzly.  (Scratch that. Not sneak up on.  Watch with binoculars

about ten miles away when I have bells tied to my shoe strings and bear spray around my neck.)


*Tour the Galapohos to see an albatross sea gull.


*Take a ship to see real whales in the real ocean.

A real ship.  No silly kayak amongst the pod.  Throw some sea turtles in as well.  Would love to see those in the wild.




*Hike Rawanda/Congo on a gorilla safari.
(But only if the guide has a stun gun in case we are charged by a huge silver back.)



*Fly to Ireland and Scotland to tour castles.


*Gaze over the Grand Canyon. Just for a minute and not near a ledge.  I don't like heights, would never ride those donkeys, and really, how long can you look at a crevice in the earth before it got boring saying "wow"?  But I dunno.


*Fly, of course, to New Zealand. It looked gorgeous on "The Lord of the Rings".  ( I think the movie was filmed there.)

*Spend Christmas in Jackson Hole, Wyoming to see the antler arch with snow and Christmas lights around and go dog sledding. (No skiing.  Dog sledding is dangerous enough for me.)

* Go to Seattle. Mountain area.  Been to the city.  Loved the Farmers Market .  It was great but want to see the outdoors.

*Drive all over the Blackfoot Mountains.

*ahhhhh.... "Misty"....
              Chincoteague Island Pony Swim

*Watch the Kentucky Derby in person.  Chris has and loved it.


*Look over Niagara Falls.  Just for a minute.  

How long can you look at a waterfall and say "wow" before it gets boring. But I dunno.

*Tour Washington, DC-Arlington, Holocaust Museum and all other museums.  Been to those but hurriedly.

*Watch Bald eagles on safari (as I call it) at Reel Foot Lake.

*Explore Yellowstone.   Would love to see elk and moose and mountain lion and beaver and bear and so. Except wolves.  I hate wolves.

*Mountain bike in Whistler.  On a one way trail
  With no one ever coming up behind me.

*Ride the Virginia Creeper Trail in the fall.  Beautiful leaves and cool weather.  I hate to sweat.  Ruins fun.

*Relax in Hot Springs, NC.

*go to hockey, hockey, hockey games. Everywhere along the way.




See!!!  That's a pretty long list.  I know how to have fun.  I could produce the greatest season of "The Bachelor".  Ever.

I'm sure I'll think of some more exciting adventures.  Maybe I'll start a bucket list on my blog.....