Sunday Afternoon

Tagging along with my niece and nephew on
their shopping trip to Murrville.

The Fault in our Stars

My great niece Chelsea and I went to see "The Fault in our Stars" yesterday afternoon.  It was an okay movie but to me a wait till Redbox type.  (I'm picky about movies.)

If you are going to see the film thinking it's a cancer movie you'll be disappointed.  "The Fault in our Star" only scratches the surface of someone battling cancer.  If you go to see it thinking you're going to see a teenage, star crossed lover type movie you'll not be disappointed.  You'll love it.  (The fault in our stars.  Star crossed lovers.  Intended correlation?  I dunno.)

Reasons not to see "The Fault in our Stars":

• Being surrounding by 100 teenage giggling girls.
• Being surrounding by 100 teenage crying girls.
• If you don't like to cry in public.
• If you wear a lot of makeup.  Specifically eye makeup.
• You forget your tissue.
• If you'll feel guilty your don't use your tissue.
• If you don't like to be disappointed.
• If you're looking for a good soundtrack.
• If you're looking for a deep cancer/life motivation type movie.
• If you'll feel guilty you aren't crying as much as you "should".
• If you'll feel guilty for judging those around you who are sobbing uncontrollably. 
• Will leave wondering about many things.......for example why the characters went to see the Anne Frank house if it wasn't going to be fleshed out more than Hazel, or Hazel Grace as Augustus liked to call her, struggling up stairs to only be kissed at the top of the stairs.

Reason to see "The Fault in our Stars":

• You want to join 100 teenage girls giggle at times and ball their eyes out at other.
• You're looking for a movie about love.  Star crossed love.
• Want to watch a "cute" movie.
• You need a good cry but just don't have anything to cry about right now.
• You like movies that are just deep enough to not make you think, but deep enough to make you feel.
• You think the girl playing Hazel, or Hazel Grace as Augustus insists on calling her, is a great actress and you want to see everything she plays in. (I think she is great!  Had another actress played the part I may have not enjoyed the movie.)
• You like to not have all the parts of a character laid out.  You like to be the deep thinker and not have a movie lead you quite that far.  You want to wonder why Augustus insists on calling Hazel, Hazel Grace.  Maybe because she feels she is just a Hazel.  She is just Hazel.  Maybe Augustus feels she is more than just a Hazel.  She is Hazel Grace.  I dunno.  One of the mysteries of this movie.

The best line in the movie, and having been a cancer patient a very profound line, is at the end of the film.  Hazel, Hazel Grace as Augustus insists on calling her, talks about the pain scale.  The pain scale asked in emergency rooms and recovery rooms and hospital rooms of those who are experiencing horrible things.  Hazel says she would always tell the nurse she had a pain of nine on the scale of 1-10.  The reason?  She was saving the ten for the time she knew would be the worst she could feel.  I loved that.  It made me wonder about how I always, always say six.  I'm not quite sure why.  Maybe I want to be strong or tough or not cause much concern or problem or complain too much.  Being one point over the half way mark to ten may be perfect for those reasons?  Maybe I'll just never figure that one out.....

Another interesting observation I found was the way the movie ends.  The movie ends just like the book that Hazel, or Hazel Grace as Augustus insists on calling her, is obsessed about.  The book she has read over and over ends in a sentence.  Ends in a way that she does not know what happens to Anna. (I think that was the character of the book's name?)  Hazel, or Hazel Grace as Augustus insists on calling her, experiences the end of her story in the exact same way as Anna.  And you the audience of the movie as Hazel the reader of the book do not know what happens to the lead character.   I'm not sure if the young girls will grapple with that in their mind.  Chelsea hadn't noticed when we talked about the movie afterward.  She said, "Marna.  You just read too much into stuff."  Ha.  Funny Chels.

I wish the cancer/dying aspects of the film had been flushed out more in the film.  The parts of Hazel and her parents fears and thoughts of parting through her future death.  Afterlife.  Fear of death.  Her mom's views on her very own future-which I found very profound but only touched on within a few sentences.  But this movie I'm afraid isn't meant to flush those issues.  I think it's only meant to be a movie of love and what comes between.  And what comes between?  Not fighting over money or time or silly things like where to eat dinner.  What comes between is life and death.  I am glad that cheap grief scenes weren't used to make you cry.  The scenes in which people were crying in the theater were very commendable.  Chelsea looked at me at one of those points and asked if I were crying.  It was one of the few times I let a few tears out or felt like letting a few tears out.  She said laughing, "wimp".  I replied laughing, "cold hearted".

All in all most who see will like.  And I did too.  It's what it should be and intended to be.  And I'll take the deepest parts with me-the pain scale and the book correlations.  And I'll take the biggest thing I learned through cancer.  I'm glad I DIDN'T go to that support group........

(Oh, a final note, I'm very glad Jennifer didn't let me take Bella along.  I'd have been very uneasy about some of the lines in the movie watching with a 12 year old.  A 12 year old that isn't my child.  I was nervous about some of it with a 20 year old!  Probably because it was my great niece.  Family.)

Loss Number Two

New York Rangers lose in second overtime of game two of Stanley Cup finals.  What a game.  This series is going to drive me crazy.  

I had originally wanted to go out to eat somewhere and watch the game.  Everyone was busy so I stayed home and my great niece Bella watched along with me. 

Bella has probably never, ever watched a full hockey game.  She laughed at me the whole time because the game kept me riled up.  She's asleep now.  Couldn't make it past the beginning of the second overtime.   My excitement more than likely wore her out.  

On to Monday night.....

Game Two of Finals

Game time!

Movie Line

Okay.  Waiting in line to go into the theater to watch "Fault in our Stars" is like standing in line waiting to go on a scary, giant, roller coaster ride at Disney World.  Everyone you see coming out is crying.

One of those nights...

Do you ever have one of those nights where it's 2:30 am and your mind is spinning as fast as the ceiling fan above you?  I often have those.  Mostly my head is buzzing and racing about things which have to be done.  Decisions to be made. Sometimes it's just irritated at the great niece cutting logs beside you while her phone vibrates from text messages from friends. 

Tonight, or this morning rather, I believe I'm just so tired that I can't sleep.  Ugh.  Wait. Another text....

The Trustee's conference in Murfreesboro was nice.  I rather like traveling.  However the air wasn't working well in my room and the bed was horribly uncomfortable so sleeping alluded me there as it is right now. Plus the toilet wasn't working at check in. Maintenance guy had to fix.  I hate having to have a maintenance man in my room when traveling alone!

My biggest reason for not sleeping?  The real reason?  Guilt.  I was unkind today to someone I should have been overly kind to. I don't know why. Well, I do but it's no excuse.  Perhaps being tired brought my ugly side to light this afternoon.  But again, that's an excuse. And excuses I hate.  Like the excuses criminals made on that stupid COPS show Chelsea made me watch tonight.  (For revenge I forced her to sit through three episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress".)

Ugh.  Another text.....and more snoring.  Maybe I should just get up and try sleep again later.  But. Oh wait. I have to work tomorrow.  I'm already feeling a good long nap tomorrow.  I hope.

Jack and Mallie Belle

My great niece Mallie Belle and great nephew Jack.  Mallie is wearing a dress I wore as a baby.  My sister revamped the 40 year old dress.  Vintage is "in" I reckon.  

The Whole Story

The whole story about going to the movies came out tonight while Chelsea was spending the night.  I asked Chelsea about Bella texts about going and then not going.

Chelsea said that she was home with Bella and her mom and friend Morgan. Bella told Chelsea she was going to see the movie, "The Fault in our Stars", with me.  Chelsea told their mom, Jennifer, Bella didn't need to until someone else watched it.  (She and me is what she meant.) Bella said "Mom said I could watch it".  Chelsea said "Mom, PG13 movies aren't what they used to be.  Bella doesn't need to see it."  Back and forth they went.

Chelsea left with Morgan.  On their way to Morgan's house she googled the movie and called her mom about all the bad stuff google had listed.  Jennifer then told Bella no, you can't go see it.  And that is when Bella texted me that she couldn't go.

Bella, the 12 year old, thinks Chelsea, the 20 year old, enjoys ruining her life.  I think they are both out to drive everyone nuts..........

I guess I'll just go by myself to watch the movie tomorrow afternoon.  That'll put a stop to all the fussing.

Prank

It took my niece Chelsea a few days to find her gift from me.  She was sitting in her car at her nanna and papaws house.  She pulled down her visor and ....  down came 1,000s of tiny pieces of paper.  I wish I'd seen her face!  Her papaw came out and saw the paper on the ground.  He asked Chelsea about it and all she said was "Marna...."

I have no idea how she immediately thought it was me..............

Ugh....they kill me......

Two of the great nieces. Sisters. They kill me when Chris is out of town.  Both want to spend the night with me.  But not together.  Never together!

A couple weeks ago Chelsea and I made plans to see the movie "The Fault in our Stars" when it came out this weekend.   Last night was Bella's night with me and I took her to see "Maleficent".  (Which was great btw.)  Bella asked if I would take her to see "The Fault in our Stars" next.  I said probably not because it's PG13.  Bella said "Marna.  I'm almost 13."  I said well you're not yet.  (I'm thinking to myself...did she hear Chelsea and I talk about the movie a couple weeks ago and is trying to beat Chelsea to the punch on this???)

Today I got a text from Bella: "Mom said I can go see fault in our stars."  I didn't reply.  I thought shoot.  I've not heard from Chelsea and I betcha she'll not want little sister tagging along on our aunt/niece time.

When I left work I text Bella and asked "Really?"

Bella replied "Mom said yes in the car but Chelsea changed her mind."  Bella had a little devil face smiley at the end.  I replied "ok".

Just about an hour ago Chelsea called me.  "Marna.  I'm coming to spend the night with you."  I said "well, ok".  No mention of the movie.  I bet I'll hear about a sister war later!

Ohhhh how my heart will break when the nieces discover I'm not cool enough to want to hang out with anymore.   Well when that happens maybe I'll not be to old and can trick Mallie Belle into wanting to spend time with the ole auntie when she's a big girl.

Zac Efron

Watching the movie "Neighbors" reminded me once again that I'd NEVER dance with Zac Efron.

Tie Dyed Maleficent

Bella and I watched "Maleficent" tonight at Turkey Creek.  I must say I really liked it.  I'm not an Angelina Jolie fan but I can't imagine anyone else playing the part as well as she.

Afterwards we ate at Wasabi where we examined Bella's blue hands.  She is volunteering at art camp for MACA and got some paint on her.  Bella is staying the night with me and we've been trying to find something to take off the paint.  No luck at the moment.

Tonight I gave a lesson to the great niece about how to roll change.

Books, Books, and more Books...

I cannot do it.   Cannot.   Cannot not buy books. Chris bought a Kindle for me couple Christmas' back.  I have about 100 books on it.  But I miss actually holding a book in my hands.   I miss dog-ear'ing the pages.  And breaking the backs.  And mostly I miss reading a great book, or at least a book I think is great, and loaning it to someone to try.

This afternoon in Murfreesboro I had some free time after our classes and went to Barnes and Noble.   After much soul searching about purchasing a book (or more) or waiting to order on Kindle I grabbed three of the 1,000 or so I'd love to have.

Here are the three that came home with me:

"Not Cool"

"The Hipster Elite and Their War on You"

Greg Gutfeld

"One Nation"

"What We Can All Do To Save America's Future"

Ben Carson, MD

"Strange Fire"

"The Danger of Offending the Holy Spirit with Counterfeit Worship"

John MacArthur

Quite a range of topics and writers.  But I think I'll get much out of all.  I love the authors, however I've never read Ben Carson.  Only heard him speak.

Now....to the reading.  In my olden days I could have all three of these books read by the end of the coming week.  I'm not as good of nor dedicated reader as in the past.  So....it may be a while.

Local friends.  Let me know if you wanna borrow one after I've finished.   I may share.   :)

Tennessee Trustees Spring Meeting

I'm in Murfreesboro for the annual TN Trustees Spring Meeting.   Always much to learn as each year brings new regulations.   And networking ties are created and old are strengthened.

Trustees in attendance are asked to bring a door prize.  I have not been able to attend many meetings, state wide or region in the past four years due to illness.  This is the first time I have brought along a door prize.  I'm a bit nervous as I can't remember how the prizes are, elaborate or simple.  And I'm not the type who wants to stand out!

Julie our Monroe County Tourism Director gave me many nice things from her department.  Tsali Notch Vineyard donated a bottle of Muscadine juice and jelly.  I bought a cooler instead of a basket.   I felt a cooler helps represent our county lifestyle of camping,  boating and picnics.   Jennifer in our office did an amazing job of wrapping the gift all together inside the cooler.

Here is a photo of the final project.  I'm excited for Wednesday's drawings and hope whoever wins is as tickled with it as I am the way it turned out.

LA will face the New York Rangers!

After LA beat Chicago to advance to the Stanley Cup Finals tonight Chris said, "uh-huh.  Who are you going to be for now? Both your teams made it to the finals."  As if he had to ask......

New York Rangers 2014

The New York Rangers are going to the 2014 Stanley Cup Finals!!!

My New York Rangers 1994 Stanley Cup license plate.

Dream come true last year. NYR game in.NYC!

Long but full day...

The courthouse closes at noon on Wednesday so I thought this would be the perfect afternoon to finish up my carry permit.  No.  Taking a class and a written test and a shooting test doesn't give you a gun carry permit.  You must also apply at the DMV and have photo taken. Then onto another place for fingerprinting and paperwork for background check. Now it's a 60 to 90 day wait to get my actual permit.

My great niece Bella wanted to tag along so I picked her up after I got off from work.  First and foremost on our afternoon agenda......lunch of course! Zaxby's it was to be.  It's not on my list of favorites but Bell likes it.

After we got our belly full off to the DMV for an almost three hour wait.  Then a phone call for questions to get an appointment for fingerprinting then off to complete looong process to carry.

Poor Bella.  She was a trooper and didn't complain.   I think she actually enjoyed the day.  Found the experience interesting.  

Since we were both worn out from doing nothing except sitting in a chair we stopped at Mayfield Dairy's ice cream parlor for ice cream cones.

COOP and Walmart and gas station finished the day.  A good day...

Six Month Checkup & Vitamin D

My six month oncology checkup went great last week.  Blood work was perfect.  Well.  Nearly perfect. My Vitamin D is low again.  So back on 50,000 iu a week for three months.

Only advice I freely give about breast cancer?  (And even if you haven't had cancer.)  Watch your Vitamin D levels.  Especially if you are high risk for re-occurrence like me.

However,  also remember you CAN take too much Vitamin D.  Just like all supplements you should consult your doctor first.  A simple blood test can tell you if your Vitamin D level is okay or if you need a supplement.  

I've several blog posts on the importance of Vitamin D and the prevention of cancer and in also reducing risk of cancer returning.  Maybe those will be informative if you want to research more.  I've posted several links to studies concerning Vitamin D and its relation in fighting cancer.

Another great thing on Memorial Day weekend.

Gun permit class.  Scored 100 on target.

Memorial Day weekend 2014

Chris had family in from Texas and Virginia.   Took a few to lake on Saturday.

The Beach Memorial Day 2014

Great end to Memorial Day with burgers, hot dogs,  and ice cream at The Beach.

Memorial Day 2014

Memorial Day at the lake with some of the family.

Memorial Day

Creature

Guess the creature.   And no, not Chris the creature.  The creature creature.

A Niece's Day

Today was an all day work but off at 3:30.  Promised my niece a trip to the movies to watch "Bears".  I think Bella did want to see it but perhaps not as much as me.  (She's the only one to say yes to seeing it with me.)

Stopped by Gander Mountain to look at Kavu bags and pick some things up before the movie.   Afterwards we went to Wasabi.  Fun night!

"Let me take a Selfie"

For Real

My great niece Bella and her new baby donkey

Love those ears!

Colton Grows Up

Colton is soooo tall!  When did he grow up?  Seems like yesterday I was in the delivery room watching him come into the world.   Now I'm watching him take the world on....

Colton's Graduation

May 16, 2014.  Our nephew Colton graduated Sweetwater High School.

New Website

Our Hull Performance Horses website is revamped!   New web address is www.hullperformancehorses.org

Would love feedback!

Jay Z and Solange

Sorry Whoopi.  I don't believe trading violence for violence is the way to solve societal issues such as family violence.   Oh.  Just remembered why I try to stay away from pop culture.  

Thank You song

Church ended today with a solo from the choir leader.  I hadn't heard it in forever.   It's always been a favorite of mine.


By:  Ray Boltz 
Song title: "Thank You (for Giving to the Lord)"
Lyrics:

I dreamed I went to heaven
And you were there with me
We walked upon the streets of gold
Beside the crystal sea
We heard the angels singing
Then someone called your name
You turned and saw this young man
And he was smiling as he came

And he said, Friend
You may not know me now
And then he said, But wait
You used to teach my Sunday School
When I was only eight
And every week you would say a prayer
Before the class would start
And one day when you said that prayer
I asked Jesus in my heart

CHORUS:
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am a life that was changed
Thank you for giving to the Lord
I am so glad you gave

Then another man stood before you
And said remember the time
A missionary came to your church
And his pictures made you cry
You didn't have much money
But you gave it anyway
Jesus took the gift you gave
And that's why I am here today

CHORUS

One by one they came
Far as the eye could see
Each life somehow touched
By your generosity
Little things that you had done
Sacrifices made
Unnoticed on the earth
In heaven now proclaimed

And I know up in heaven
You're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure
There were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand
And you stood before the Lord
He said, My child look around you
Great is your reward

CHORUS (repeat)

I am so glad you gave

   

Tanner

My nephew Tanner and I in 1979 and 2014.

Window to the Soul

I didn't post the final copy of "Looking Up" from several days ago.  Just now realized.  Here is the updated:



"Eyes are the window to the soul".  Or "mirror of the soul".  The sayings are old.  And so true.  The eyes are the window to or mirror of your soul.  So much about a person can be told from their gaze. 

It's always been interesting to me that when people hit rock bottom or in times of extreme happiness or frustration they look up.  Look up for guidance. Whether they profess belief in God or not, looking up to God, to the Heavens, is an intrinsic reaction from within.  A need to look up to the Almighty in desperation or in joy I believe He placed in us.

The times I've noticed someone looking down seem to be associated with shame which is different from guilt.  Guilt tends to be an internal, personal feeling when one has violated what they feel is the difference between right and wrong.  Right and wrong is based on the individual.  We all have our on opinions on what constitutes those two things.  Someone who is guilty of something can often still look someone in the eyes.  And lie.

Shame on the other hand comes from somewhere other than ourselves.  It's external.  People who are shamed look down.  I think of Adam and Eve in the garden.  After sin pervaded their lives they felt something new-shame.  I can imagine them cowering in shame covering themselves from God.  Shame at betraying the Father. 

Not everyone experiences guilt in the same ways.  Some do very bad things and never feel guilty.  However, I believe all experience shame at some point or many points during their lives.  Shame which comes from the knowledge, whether deep in the recesses of their mind or coming from the belief in God that we have sinned.  We all look down from the feeling.  Only a few then look up.  Up for hope and in the end, knowledge of forgiveness from the One who can get rid of the shame of life through the blood.  Who will....if we look

One Year Ago Today

My sister reminded me that one year ago today we were in NYC with friends.  Wow where does time go?