Victoria's Secret Sales Catalogs

Do you receive Victoria's Secret sale catalogs?  For years I've gotten those through mail.  The interesting thing is they don't stop sending them to your house once you have breast cancer.  That Victoria's Secret keeps right on coming.  A painful reminder of what is happening in your life and the loss of the most defining parts of being a woman.  But looking through the sales catalog also can bring hope about where you'll be in a few months.

With the first stage of my reconstruction I had to buy bras for the first time in a year and a half.  Shopping was a very depressing experience.  Much, much more so than I ever imagined it would be.  Going into that dressing room was one of the emotional things I've went through during this trial.   I thought I would just buy some cheap bras from Wal-Mart or somewhere like that and be done with it until my final surgery.  When all is done I'll treat myself to some nice bras was the plan.  And this I did.  And for two weeks have been pretty reserved to wearing them.  Uncomfortable physically and mentally.  They just were not flattering-at all.

Last night I was in Knoxville.  I passed Victoria's Secret and for some reason went inside.   I told the sales lady that I had reconstruction and would need to be measured as I am a different size than before.  This was the first time I'd ever told anyone in this type of situation.  My nerves were on high and my adrenaline pumping while talking with the saleslady.  What was I doing there?  Victoria's Secret????  The thought kept going through my mind that I didn't deserve a nice bra.  That because of my forever changed breasts I should just be okay with a cheap Wal-Mart bra.  However those did me no favors in flattering what I have.  They were bras that made me more depressed about the point of my life I am at. 

The saleslady was wonderfully understanding and did my measurements.  I cannot wear an underwire so she helped me pick some bras that she felt would work for my situation.  There wasn't much of a selection.  Almost all of their bras have an underwire.  However, I was very impressed with their professionalism and their genuine concern about making sure my needs were met and that I was comfortable with the process.

As I tried the bras on I suddenly felt very womanly!  For the first time in a long time.  I had not felt that since last year and had given up hope I would ever feel that again.  But putting on a good bra that fit great, well, that boosted my confidence.  The saleslady helped me find the perfect bra that fit well for the stage of reconstruction I am in.  She also found one that covers my scars very, very well.  Even though I am a very much smaller size than before, as I looked at the bra under a shirt they had for me I felt beautiful.  I felt like a lady.  I felt pretty.   I felt like I deserved that bra!!!  My outlook on my looks totally changed in that one moment.  It was unbelievable the power of a good, womanly, well fitted bra can do for your self esteem.

Ladies, have you had breast cancer and reconstruction?  Treat your self to at least one bra from Victoria's Secret.  There IS a difference in the bra I purchased and the one I got at Wal-Mart.  Not only in fit but also in confidence.  Amazingly so.  I hope if you do have reservations about your new look and what type of bra that you will try at least one great bra.  Maybe it will help you in your journey to getting back to normalcy.

Depression Era Man

Today was my first oncology appointment with Dr. Charles since finishing my Herceptin treatment in March. I walked into the office to that familiar smell of chemo.  It’s amazing the memory of our noses, even after several months.

There was an older lady sitting near the door with an easy smile.  Beside her was her husband.  A man with a cowboy hat, overalls, flannel shirt, red bandana and work boots.  He didn’t have an easy smile.  He reminded me of a type of man, the depression era man typical of Monroe County; the kind of man I’ve been privileged and proud to know; a man that reminded me in many ways of my daddy. 

His wife’s name was called and the lady with an easy smile handed her flowered pocket book to her husband.  He clutched the purse awkwardly while she was back for her treatment.  What a sight it was, this depression era man holding a flowered’ly pocket book.

When the lady came back to the waiting room she walked to her husband.  He had the easy smile when he saw her walk around the corner.  As he handed her the pocket book he asked her “Am I shed of you now?” and giggled.  (He meant getting rid of her pocket book for those not understanding of that generation.  Not referring to “shed” of her physically.”) 

They walked out, this cute old couple.  To his 1970’s something red Ford truck with cattle panels for the bed.  He walked her around to the passenger’s door and helped her inside.  For some reason that was one of the sweetest moments I’ve ever seen.  It made me think of my daddy on Saturday mornings when I was little.  Momma would sleep in for a while.  I would hear daddy walk quietly into their room and whisper in this sweet, quiet voice at her ear, “Belle….Belle….. it’s time to get up Belle.”  Daddy’s birthday was the 9th.  He may be sorely missed by his family but he is in heaven with his wife, my momma, who had an easy smile.